Today, more of my finite writing genius time was interrupted by a knock at the door.
A young man is standing there with a clipboard.
Him: Are you the homeowner?
Him: Ok, well I'd like to advertise in your yard.
Me: Um, for what? (This could be a multitude of services, and I'm not even saying I would have said no at this point.)
Him: (He almost made the "whatever" sign on his forehead, but instead, he points to the logo on his wrinkled, ill-fitting golf-shirt.)
Me: (I'm old and blind and holding back a killer Jingle dog. Seriously, dude, why are you making me work so hard?)
Him: It's GE Home Security systems.
Me: (Apparently, I'm supposed to either a.) be impressed that GE has gone beyond light bulbs, microwaves and television broadcasting into the home security biz or b.)swoon that my yard was chosen to hold an unsolicited sign.) Ah, no?
Him: (Smart boy. He anticipated my hesitation.) For compensation we will give you a home security system.
Me: (WTF? We had to go through all that for this?) I already over-pay for a security system. Thanks, though.
Him: (Quite skeptical-looking.) Really? (He looks around for a sign.)
Me: Yeah, and apparently I need to upgrade.
Get off of my lawn, you tool.
If I see one GE Security sign on my street tonight I'm totally selling that neighbor some magic beans.