Monday, April 30, 2007


It's my birthday. Yeah, yeah, thanks. Truth be told, I would have been happy with a Margarita, an extra generous slice of mint chocolate chip ice cream cake and a nap, but I'll take the luxury hotel in Naples for a long weekend, too. And maybe I'll be able to fit into the itsy-bitsy-teeny-weenie red polka dot bikini that Matty got me for my birthday. It's like a size .5, and he thought I could actually fit it over one thigh. He also thinks I'm 26 today. I love that kid.

I'm moving a little slowly this morning. We had the big Matty birthday bash on Saturday complete with large inflatable jumping/slide apparatus. Buoyed by my first beer(s) in 11 months, I thought I'd slide down at the apres-party where there were no witnesses. Don't ask me why I thought this was okay. I can't submerge under water for 6 weeks because of this huge incision that they glued, but since they didn't expressly warn against inflatable fun, I thought I'd be cool. Not so. I'm burning. Ouch.

With age does not come wisdom, apparently.


I'm celebrating today with laundry, (it's still Monday you know) lunch with a friend, and Jessie sleeping through the night which may have been the biggest treat ever. And just to be corny and nostalgic, today is one of the prettiest spring mornings I've ever awoken to. I walked outside and was hit by the sweet smell of jasmine that's in bloom right now. It was almost as if someone was sending me special wishes from beyond. I love spring.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Rhetorical Questions I Don't Expect Answers to

1. Where do these large blocks of time I'm missing during the day go?

2. If the scale says I've lost all of the weight, why am I still in my fat pants?

3. If you know you are insane while committing an insane act--oh, say throwing a birthday party on Saturday for 30 7 year olds 2 weeks postpartum--are you still just as insane?

4. How can one tiny baby produce so much laundry?

5. I forgot what I was going to ask for 5.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Baby steps

In an effort to regain a little self-sufficiency, I drove this morning.

I tested my ability beforehand like the doctor said, and then I loaded up the two girls and all of the crap I need now just to go to the pediatrician's office for Jessica's 2 week check-up. I made it without crashing, dropping anyone, or tearing my incision. Woo Hoo!

I am exhausted and now can't walk upright fully, but I logged my first unsupervised field trip.

Now I've got to go take a nap.

P.S. That little chub gained 9 ounces in week. I love chunky babies.

Monday, April 23, 2007

It takes a village

I hope I get permission to drive soon. There are just so many favors a girl can call in to get shampoo and formula. My poor baby sitter had to buy de-wormer at the pet store and take Stevie to baseball already today. Last week she had to pick up and out Matty's birthday cake and the requisite Chik Fil-A nugget dinner.

I have to go back to the doctor earlier than expected tomorrow, and I literally had to arrange a 17-person tag team of people to take care of me, the baby, Amy, the boys, switch the cleaning day and change a light bulb. I need graphs and a flow chart for the logistics of a stupid appointment.

So sorry for having to actually take up the offers for help. I feel bad for constantly asking. You all have been beyond generous already.

Friday, April 20, 2007

We hatched...

I know I've been absent from the world for a while, but I've had a little reason...

Jessica Marie came into the world on April 10th at 8:44 p.m. At my regular doctor's appointment that afternoon, the contractions were 2 minutes apart, and I was 2 minutes away from a complete nervous breakdown. So we made the difficult decision that it was at long last time, and she was delivered 5 hours later.

I won't say it was an easy delivery, actually, it was pretty rough. After four c-sections, I think I've missed my opportunity for a Playboy pictorial. I'll have to settle for a centerfold in Parenting. But the baby is absolutely perfect and beautiful, so my complaints are few. Men just read it for articles anyway I'm told.

But as a result, my re-entry is slow. Today was our first day home alone--me, Amy, Jessica and the dogs--and it was all pink sugar and spice. But sugar and spice is exhausting. I tried to catch up a little, but I fear "catching up" is no longer an option, and I'm just starting from scratch again. By Monday, I hope to be walking fully upright and off the pain meds. But drinking again. Kidding. Sort of.

It's funny, but although she is only 10 days old today, I can't remember when she was Oscar.

But for now, I am going to be enjoying this bliss uninterrupted for just a little longer.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Linguistics lesson

I know where the turn of phrase, "A watched pot..." comes from....

Friday, April 06, 2007

Just wondering....

Can I Fabreeze the dog?

Good Friday

I honestly didn't think I'd be cooking Easter dinner this year. I thought I'd either be in the hospital dining on Similac with Oscar or at home recovering and being tended to by doting others.

It is now Good Friday, and it looks as though I may have to re-evaluate my holiday plans to include cooking for 12 on Sunday.

The upside is that maybe since wallpaper stripping yesterday didn't work, perhaps stuffing a leg of lamb and peeling fingerling potatoes may just push me over the edge.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Do you want fries with that?

I might just have found the one benefit of looking like I have a large medicine ball perched on my hips. At Matty's baseball game the team mom looked at me with those wide eyes of disbelief mixed with empathetic discomfort and said, "Well, you get out of concession stand duty for the rest of the year!"

That might have even made up for the bagger at Publix asking me if I was having twins today.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Spring Break

In an effort to steer Karma in a different direction, (hopefully toward Mease Hospital) I will point out 2 positive events for the day.

1) That 24 pound mark still holds. No, I'm not kidding. Last week I was up to 25, but yesterday I lost a pound. I can only attribute it to the unwitting ab crunches I do every 12 minutes (now down to 6 since I refuse to take any more meds). Not that my waistline shows the effort--that's more obscene than ever--but at least the scale does.

2) Today is the last day of school before a perfectly timed spring break. We all need it. The boys need to be home knocking down all of my nesting efforts, and Amy needs her brothers' attention. They need to be swimming and coloring eggs and sleeping in. On Friday, we will be besieged by family coming for Oscar Easter, and that's a good thing, too.

Let's hope I can give them something to do while they're here...

Tuesday, April 03, 2007