Monday, April 14, 2008

Want some Funyons with yer Dew?

Sometimes I think I was a dirtbag in a former life.

I have these dirtbag tendencies that creep through the diva facade every once in a while. Usually, Sean is the only witness and he generously points them out. Like when I drink Mountain Dew. Or when I wear my Cheap Trick hoodie. I spent $400 on this hoodie at the school auction, but it looks as though I found it in Peter Cetera's rummage sale because it is black and usually covered in white Jingle hair.

So today, I was not wearing said hoodie, but a black T-shirt when I went to the post office to mail in our taxes at the last minute which is my personal protest if we owe. (Which we did and I'm still pissed about it.) Anyway, so I am standing in this excruciating long line with other civil disobedients when the old man behind me says, "Someone has a kitty."

What? I didn't know who he was talking to so I ignored him.

"I'm sorry, but this is driving me crazy, can I just brush your back?"

So I turn around as he starts to brush the dog hair from my back. In line. At the post office. In front of 27 other procrastinators.

I don't even know what to say to this.

Except that now there are 28 more witnesses to my dirtbagdom.

6 comments:

JODI said...

Why don't drag your "dirtbagdom" patootie to STL on September 11 for a Cheap Trick concert, where you can proudly wear your black $400 hoodie--also accompanying Cheap Trick is Journey and Heart. If you have Jingle on you I will lint roller you... not just brush you with my hand. That is love.

Trisha said...

Water just came out of my nose - literally. I was drinking it, reading your blog, and I couldn't control the laughter - so out it went. At least he didn't try to brush any off of the front, right??

Carl said...

Before you think Mountain Dew is dirtbaggy, remember that most of the world's great (and infamous) programs were built with Dew and Funyons. Might explain a lot about Windows.

C.G. Barrett said...

You should have just meowed very loudly. Or maybe even hissed a little. I'm a firm believer in making an even bigger scene when someone else kicks off the freakshow.

Tracey said...

It was a freakshow. A very furry, Dew-filled freakshow...

Popsicles & Lollipops said...

You're not officially a dirtbag until you serve the Mountain Dew at a dinner party (just one 2 liter) and without cups. That way everyone gets to get a swig out of the same bottle. Oh and don't forget the boiled (pronounced burled) peanuts. Oooo-eee! Maybe this guy was trying to cop a feel using the cat hair ploy (except it was your back). Who's the dirtbag now? :-)