Okay, I didn't mean for my column today to sound so depressing, but I guess it is. Maybe the boredom is getting to me. Maybe the frustration. Maybe the pain.
Anyway, it is up to you dear blogience, to change that. I issue a decree of joke submission, either here, under comments so others can share in the laughter, or divamail me if they are really raunchy (my favorite kind).
Your other option is to send along one must read novel suggestion.
Get busy, you have an awesome and important responsibility.
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My Column--Suburban Diva
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- Tracey
- Suburban Diva is "deliciously snarky," "dissecting the day like Joan Rivers on the Red Carpet," and a registered Trademark. So if you really want to use that name, um, you can't. Divamail me at Divamail@Suburbandiva.com
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When not writing, I'm reading:
- Three Strong Women, by Marie Ndiaye**
- The Satanic Verses, by Salman Rushdie**
- Flight, by SHerman Alexie***
- An Inconvenient Truth, by Al Gore ***
- State of Wonder, by Ann Patchett****
- The Dovekeepers,by Alice Hoffman ****
- Beautiful Maria of My Soul, by Oscar Hijuelos
- Girl in Translation, by Jean Kwok
- The Opposite of Me, by Sarah Pekkanen
- Let the Great World Spin, by Colum McCann
- Olive Kitteridge, by Elizabeth Strout
- The Art of Racing in the Rain, by Garth Stein
- The Enchantress of Florence, by Salman Rushdie
- Firefly Lane, by Kristin Hannah
- Julie and Julia, by Julie Powell
- The Danish Girl,by David Ebershoff
- The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, by Junot Diaz
- The Romanov Bride, by Robert Alexander
- The Sex Lives of Cannibals; Adrift in the Equatorial Pacific, by J. Maarten Troost
- The Madonnas of Leningrad, by Debra Dean
- The Confessions of Max Tivoli, by Andrew Sean Greer
- Shelter Me, by Juliette Fay
- The Hour I First Believed,by Wally Lamb
- Songs Without Words, by Ann Packer
- The Pirate's Daughter, by Margaret Cezair-Thompson
- The Septembers of Shiraz, by Dalia Sofer
- The Mission Song, by John le Carre
- Suite Francaise, by Irene Nemirovsky
- The Last Chinese Chef, by Nicole Mones
- Hanna's Daughters, by Marianne Fredriksson
- The Teahouse Fire,by Ellis Avery
- The Opposite of Love, by Julie Buxbaum
- Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert
- Seeing, by Jose Saramago
- Beginner's Greek, by James Collins
4 comments:
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did
for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when
the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an
exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of
other men and they put money in his is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other
children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to
ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" "No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
Ok so here it is:
There are two muffins in an oven. One turned to the other and said, "Man it's hot in here!" The second turned and said "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"
-Bonnie
Excellent entries, ladies. Keep going...please?
Ok, here goes. This one always slays my 7-year-old.
Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: Ha! To get to the other side!
Q: Why'd the baby cross the road?
A: Cause it was stapled to the chicken!
Of course, I've got another really good one about two closeted, gay, cabaret-dancing muffins who are actually Republican congressmen from Nebraska. But that one's just too damn long to type.
-CB
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