Saturday, July 18, 2009

You can, in fact, pick your daughter's nose

You were no doubt thinking that things were a little too quiet around here, medically speaking.

Well, you probably weren't, but now that I brought it up it has occurred to you that no one has made a trip to the ER in a while.

We almost set the "25 days accident-free" calendar back yesterday when Jesso decided to spice things up a bit.

Taking a cue from her older sister who stuck a red hot up her nose a couple of years ago and sneezed cinnamon for a few days afterward, Jess stuck a plastic bead up there.

Running over a little teary, she said, "Ma, Ma...nose." I couldn't see anything at first, but with a shine of the flashlight saw the little white bead perched high up into her nasal cavity. (And if that didn't clue me in, the evidence was in a craft bag opened up on my desk where she was sitting.)

I tried to work it out, yes, that way, but her nostrils are too small and my fingers too big. I thought maybe I could grab it with a pair of tweezers, but she was thrashing around too much and I thought I might pluck her cerebellum. So I let out a huge heaving sigh, and packed everyone up to go to the ER.

Actually, I had to pick up a couple from down the road so that they could watch the other 2 while I went holding just one crying baby instead of four. I made the exchange and carried on the way.

At the traffic light, I was considering ER, pediatrician's office or StatMed--each of which have their own appeal--when I looked in the rearview mirror and saw a little band of white perched close to the end of her nostril. I calmly pulled over to a parking lot (proud that I didn't just turn backwards while holding my foot on the brake like I normally do, aren't you?) and worked my mommy magic on that bead, so it came out in a rather disgustingly-coated nugget in my trembling hand.

And you know what that little cherub said?

"Tanks Ma for helping my nose."

No, thank you Jess, for saving me a $50 co-pay and another entry in the bad mommy file.


Anonymous said...

You should have taken her for ice cream for all the money you saved. Preferable somewhere the sell cocktails as well!!

thestarvingintern said...

Why Didnt you ever pick my nose?

Anonymous said...

You are in good company. My mom, also an R.N. was about as perfect as they come and I was the youngest of 4, so she had lots of practice before me, yet I managed to get into her sewing stuff and stick a little red button up my nostril. She waited until I went to sleep for the night (in those days, the hospital was only for broken bones)and with flashlight in hand, carefully manipulated it out without even waking me.

Mammakaze said...

A bead in the nose gets you in the bad mommy file?! Boy am I in trouble. The truth is, when you have kids, they can get into messes all by themselves. I know it's in our nature as mommies to feel guilty about it. Because we're supposed to foresee everything, right? But even if you don't leave out the beads, or forget to put the cover back on the electrical outlet after you vacuum. They FIND trouble. It's in their DNA. It's how they learn and discover. In fact, we might over protect our kids with all the baby proofing. They don't even know what's "BAD" for them anymore. When we were kids, know what the babyproofing in our house was? "NO!" That was it. And we all survived. Did I mention we all have multiple scars?