Saturday, October 27, 2007

Mom

So I've been thinking about my Mom a lot lately--today especially. She's been gone 8 years now, and it never gets easier. I keep thinking she's just gone to the store, and she's going to be right back...

Matty found a baby's I.D. bracelet on the floor of his room. It is tarnished silver and it has her name on its tiny plate. I'm sure Amy pulled it from my jewelry box, but I told Matty that it is sort of like pennies from heaven--angels sometimes leave these signs to let you know they are watching over you. I made that up--mainly because I wanted it to be true. But wouldn't you know, we have found that bracelet in a dozen different places over the last week, even after I had put it away?

And then a couple of weeks ago, an old friend of ours stopped in for an impromptu visit. We used to work with him up in Michigan, and after we moved to St. Louis and returned to visit my parents, we'd stop in to see he and his wife from time to time. At work, he was the grumpiest guy you'd ever want to meet, but at home, he was a goofball who adored his children and grandchildren with abandon, and he'd play with Stevie while his wife fed me comfort food. I will never forget that they came to her funeral, attempting to help shoulder my grief for a day.

So as they sat in the living room bouncing Jess on his knee and making funny faces at Amy, he asked about my writing. I replied that is was silly, just a hobby, really. And he said, "You know your Mom would be so proud of you. What am I saying? She is proud."

And coming from him, I almost believed it.

And then there is my dear friend Colleen. She still lives up there in Michigan, and we have shared a lot during our 15 year friendship, including, unfortunately, losing our Moms way too soon. She calls me every year on this day, and I can't tell you what a comfort that is. Again, she tries to shoulder that grief for a minute, and it helps.

So Mom, if you are here reading this over my shoulder, please come home from the store. I miss you. We've got plenty of milk, and you could come to Amy's birthday party tomorrow.

I'll save you a piece of cake.

2 comments:

Esther said...

wow.

thank you for making me cry at work. :-) Thank god for the fact that all my collegues are male. They'd never notice me, crying behind my computer.

I am going to visit my parents after work for comfort food and big hugs. Man, am I blessed!

Tracey said...

I'm jealous. :) Enjoy them...