Theme Park Tips--Holidays or otherwise

Our typical Thanksgiving is spent at home with me cooking way too much, squeezing more chairs around a crowded table in between home hockey games. This year (and all other lockout years) we had the opportunity to travel so we did. To Disney World.

The happiest place on earth is also a very crowded one during major holidays, but we were able to hit everything we wanted to, including the newly-expanded Fantasyland.

It can be done, my friends. And here are my quick tips on how to enjoy the Magic Kingdom with 100,000 other people.

1.) Use Fast Passes. EVERY RIDE THEY ARE OFFERED. Standby lines are for rookies.

2.) One of the longest lines we waited in all day was to get on the monorail before we even got to the park. Check the hours because they vary, but if it's a later close, think of shifting your day up by an hour or two. It cleared out around dinner time, and we could have avoided that first wait by leaving the hotel later.

3.) Do the park in a logical order. It astounds me that people crisscross hitting attractions out of order. This just adds needless time, especially if you're navigating large crowds that hate strollers. I once read that most people go to left when starting the park, but I don't think that's true if Space Mountain is to the right.

4.) Send your fastest runner ahead to collect Fast Passes. This saves you oodles of time.

5.) Did I mention Fast Passes? Because often if you are getting them for one ride, you may have the nice surprise of receiving more to another attraction. This happened for us while getting ours for Peter Pan--we got bonus passes for the new Dumbo ride.

6.) Focus on your must-see rides, but don't overlook others that may have a shorter line. Carousel of Progress might seem lame, but it sure is a cool spot to land while you wait for Buzz Lightyear. I'm looking at you, Swiss Family Robinson Tree House, Hall of Presidents and Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor.

7.) There was not a single reservation available the entirety of Thanksgiving Day inside the park (or at surrounding hotels for that matter) so if you have to settle for counter service, eat at off-times. before 11:30 or after 2:30 for lunch, early or late dinners.

8.) We are not parade people and if you aren't either, still make a note of when they are to avoid Main Street like...Main Street during a parade.

9.) Speaking of Fast Passes, they will give you an hour window in which to return. Try not to hit it at the exact return time, go about 20 minutes after the start time.

10.) Individual events like Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween and Mickey's Very Merry Christmas parties are great if they are offered during your stay. While it seems that a 7:00 pm start time may not be enough time, tickets are less expensive than a full-day admission and you get more bang for your buck with less crowds and wait times.

Get your ears on this Christmas.

The new attractions in FantasyLand had just opened to the public earlier that week, and while we didn't get to go to the new Be Our Guest Restaurant which sounds like a Don't Miss, we enjoyed the new Ariel ride and the new Under the Big Top attractions that used to be Toon Town. Definitely worth the hype and it still has a lot to go including a new roller coaster for us big kids.

So don't be put off by the crowds this holiday season, it's about making memories. While I'm cynical about a lot of things, Disney is still one of the places my whole family enjoys together, and for that I am thankful.

And for Fast Passes.

Fall what?

We just returned from Fall Break, which is Nashville's way of saying, "By the first week of October, we realize what a colossally bad idea it is to send the kids back to school closer to the Fourth of July than Labor Day, so here's the week that you could have had in August with the rest of the country so you can completely destroy all semblance of a routine you finally had going. Oh, and we're still going ahead with your child's sports schedule because we also realize the rest of the world continues as planned so good luck planning a trip or anything that doesn't revolve around an out-of-town game."

So we went to Louisville for a hockey tournament.

I'm not complaining--I don't hate Fall Break until this Monday after when we all have to go back after 10 days of sleeping at odd times and alternating meals between pizza and lukewarm powdered eggs out of chafing dishes at the Homewood Suites. I feel like I've woken up hungover from a night of huffing airplane glue from an EPA case study on how not to ventilate an ice arena.

Oh wait, we did.

But we made fun anyway. When we weren't hallucinating or vomiting from the lingering Zamboni fumes, we managed to take in a movie, do some shopping and even go to the Louisville Slugger museum and factory which I highly recommend if you're ever out that way. Before we left, the kids had a couple of sleepovers and homemade baked goods were consumed, so it was a fine week no matter how you slice it.

Even if it's a big ole slice of warm pumpkin pie instead of a refreshing Key Lime.

A Lottawa fun in Ottawa

An exasperated, “Why do all of our vacations turn out like this?” Is not the way any weekend should begin.

This was uttered from my oldest as we sat in customs filling out a lost bag report from a foreign city not on our original itinerary as we pushed Matty in a wheelchair after our flight was cancelled.

Sometimes it doesn’t occur to me that things go horribly wrong some days. Stevie was still fighting his concussion, Jessie had an ear infection, Matty had twisted his ankle the night before and our connecting flight to Ottawa for the NHL All-Star weekend was cancelled upon arriving in Washington. I guess I considered ourselves ahead of the game that despite all of those events, we made it all together.



Nor did I know at that time what a fabulous time we would have. Sure, I knew it was going to be fun--we sort of love these kinds of things--but each event was just so enjoyable together, that every inconvenience was sort of eclipsed. We pushed Matty’s wheelchair through the snow and ice-packed streets of Ottawa taking in all of the sites. We attended the parties, the games, the events. We made fun in between and just kind of took it all in stride.



There were players, and mascots and Prime Ministers. There were old friends, new friends, and laughter. There was, “Did you see who that was?” and bad imitations of Canadian accents are higher math calculations on the exchange rate.



But we were all together.

And on that last morning packing up way too much luggage and a ton of memories over the last 48 hours, I couldn’t help but think, “I love that all of our vacations turn out like this.”

I can't win in Vegas on many levels it seems

Basically I've been avoiding Legionnaires Disease my entire life.

I know that sounds like a rather random pursuit--and it is--but let me assure you it's entirely true. I blame on my mother, because I have never known anyone with this affliction, am not personally familiar with any of the affects, nor really know exactly what it is, but I do have an unreasonable fear of theme park misters and water parks. And I swore early on that if I ever became First Lady, the eradication of this disease would be my personal Betty Ford Clinic.

After a lifetime of holding my breath past Splash Mountain and resisting the urge to hurling those stupid spray bottle fans that always seem to mist me in line for a churro by sweating strangers, I have now been exposed to my worst nightmare of dying a slow and painful death in a VFW lodge, and I was no where near a log flume.

Yep, we were in the freaking Aria Hotel in Vegas on the dates in question.

The only possible upside I can find in this situation is that so far Sean nor I haven't experienced any symptoms yet and when I do finally become First Lady my charitable foundation won't seem nearly as hollow now.

Our foreign exchange students. Ish.

In the same vein as when people tell me they're going on a "mission trip" to Paris or Tahiti, we're hosting two foreign exchange students.

From CANADA!

Only it's not really an exchange, because I'm not sending anyone. And they technically aren't students since they aren't going to school here, they are playing hockey. And it doesn't last a semester, only 5 days.

So really it's just driving around high school hockey players for a week and washing their jerseys.

Which I do everyday, so that's really not foreign in any sense of the word.

Which means this experience isn't nearly as exotic as it was when I began this post, so never mind.

Home again

I'm really not good at blogging while on vacation.

I have the best of intentions--I pack up the laptop with thoughts of writing in hotel rooms after long days of travel, but truth be told the computer rarely makes it out of the car. I think I turned it on once in the last 10 days.

But when was prose going to fit in on a 3500 mile road trip with four kids across fourteen states? Zactly. By the time my head hit interstate sheets, I was fast asleep exhausted from driving for 12 hour stretches.

But I wouldn't have done it any differently. We headed out last Monday and went to Chattanooga for a first stop on the way to Detroit. I was thinking of the Chattanooga Choo Choo or some touristy equivalent, but the boys decided they wanted to see a Lookouts game so we headed there instead.


We finished our trek to Detroit the next day and spent the next couple with my Dad doing Detroit things like lunch downtown at National Coney Island and the Science Center. We ate dinner at Hockeytown before taking in a Tiger game which was grrr-eat! (Sorry, couldn't help myself.)

On to Akron, Ohio so we could be front and center for LeBron's decision and feel the collective pain of the city. (Actually, that was pure coincidence as we visited my sister and her beautiful family.) We had fun visiting the Football Hall of Fame and I started to get the distinct feeling that sports was going to be the dominant theme of this road trip whether I planned it that way or not.


Next we drove out to Long Island for big family doings. Very fun. Then it was back south by way of Washington D.C. and South Carolina. We got drenched at the Washington Monument but it didn't seem to matter.

People say I'm crazy to spend 24/7 in the car for a couple of weeks with my kids.

But I just got to spend 24/7 with my kids for a couple of weeks, and that is crazy good.

Back. Reluctantly.

Well, we are back on the mainland and might I say, I hate the mainland. At least in comparison to islands.

For the last 8 days we floated in the Gulf of Mexico. The big, beautiful, 90+ degree turquoise water held us all day every day of our vacation. The weather was beautiful, the company, even better.



We saw a lot more wildlife this trip than in years past. Occasionally, there would be a dolphin or a manatee siting over the week, but this time we saw several every day. These dolphin (photo by Michelle) were so close we could have touched them right off the beach.



The manatee were out as well, and on the last day one came up and nudged us rather creepily while we were hanging out in the water. I ran up and got some cabbage we took out to feed them and the two big ole walrus's ate it up in a few minutes while we watched. Scrapping the Asian salad we were going to have for dinner was worth the show.

We ate dinner late every night so we could watch sunsets from Shark's Tooth Beach. This is one of my favorite things on the planet. We found hundreds of teeth this trip, and even saw some sting rays in the water. FIsh were abundant and so were the turtles, shore birds and pelicans.

I'm not sure if the oil spill had anything to do with the abundance of wildlife we saw this year or not, but it certainly reminded us all of what we stand to lose from this disaster. This was our 6th trip to the island, and I can't imagine what the 7th will look like if things don't change soon.

So I leave you with what it looks like today--unspoiled except for the visitors like us who get to enjoy it.

Packing light

I have an extensive and quite detailed packing list for our upcoming vacation to the beach. In fact, it's a list that I save on the computer from year to year and sometimes I open it in January just to cheer myself up. It's the only list I have such a powerful feeling for, until this one.

This is the list of things I won't be taking to our beach vacation this year.

1. Diapers. And wipes and swim diapers. Because for the first time in 15 years, all of my children are out of diapers. At the same time. The thought of not packing Pampers makes me almost as happy as my packing list.

2. Clothes. Well, a lot less of them anyway. I usually come home with stacks of clothes that we never wear because we live in our bathing suits. So everyone is getting an outfit in case it rains and their pajamas.

3. My flat-iron. In six years of this particular trip, I've never once used it. My hair is on vacation, too. (I list this as an apology to my friends as well--it's 80's hair time, ladies!)

4. Closed-toed shoes. If ain't a flip-flop, it's not welcome in the suitcase.

5. Negative energy. I'm going to my favorite place with my favorite people and so there's no room for anything but happiness.

I'm ready to go now. Too bad our reservations aren't.

Viva Las Me

So I went to Vegas. For my 40th, because there's nothing like easing into a big birthday with $14 mojitos by the pool and $10 Miller Lites at the Flamingo watching Donny and Marie.

Expensive, but worth every penny.

We managed to talk 12 other people into spending the weekend of the Kentucky Derby in smoky casinos and smoking hotel pools (The Encore has one of those fancy "European Bathing Pools" that require you to be 21 and camera-less. The only topless Europeans I saw were some hairy old Greek men smoking cigars.) We arrived on Friday and walked the strip and had drinks on the Bellagio patio overlooking the fountain. After gambling, we hopped on over to Paris for dinner and then back to gambling along the strip. Heaven.

Saturday was spent by the pool. And speaking of topless men, Sean started his tan tattoo for luck.


Later, the women folk went to Donny and Marie (Fabulous!) Incredibly cheesy, but when you go to see Donny and Marie at the Flamingo, well, you pretty much know what you're in for.

Sunday was more time at the pool, gambling, and then off to my favorite restaurant in the world--a little French hole in the wall that is absolutely divine. The story is that Bobby Darren named it back in 1974 and it is a favorite haunt by anyone who comes to Vegas. I can see why. Tucked in between a barb-wired hair salon and a burned out gas station, you would never find it in a million years.

But we did, and I'm glad.




Afterward, we went to the old Vegas--Freemont Street--and suffered smoke inhalation and second-hand alcoholism, but it was fun.



And now I'll have to continue easing into 40 in Eastern time. It's going to be a long process, so stay tuned.

Not exactly sticking to the itinerary

No, I haven't forgotten you, nor have we fallen from the planet--although we are orbiting around aliens at the moment here in South Georgia.

No, every detail of this is being recorded and will be chronicled beginning Monday here and over on Whoa Momma.

It promises to be just exactly how you'd expect this vacation to be, only with more screenplay opportunities.

A funny thing happened on the way to the volleyball courts

Well, hello. Looking for a post-holiday wrap-up, are you? Well, okie dokie.
Settle back, this one might take a while.

When last we left my pre-vacation self, I was standing in line at Fresh Market waiting for my butterflied leg of lamb with the rest of central Florida. That Easter Eve, I managed to get the house cleaned, food prepared, (including homemade bread, mind you) get to the wine store and fill some baskets in time for our Easter feast. But these four looked so tasty that I could have gobbled them up.



After church on Sunday, we shared our meal with some great friends and most of the wine I purchased the day before. We played Kingers, and Danny somehow ended up winning even though I do not remember him coloring any of the eggs...I think this one might end up with an asterisk in the record books.

After vacuuming up the eggshells on Monday morning, we high-tailed it over to Orlando to spend some quality time with one of my all-time favorite hotels, the J.W. Marriott. Oh, how I love this hotel.

We spent Monday afternoon becoming reacquainted with its lazy river and poolside lounge chairs. Which ended up to be a good thing, because Tropical Storm Fun-Killer rolled in on Tuesday and we were quarantined to our high thread-count beds watching movies in between wandering the hotel. At one point, I was staring at the typhoon coming down and noticed it had even started to hail.

Not missing a beat, Amy exclaimed, "That means we're in hail??"

Yes, actually. Orlando in the rain can be described as exactly that.

Wednesday was much better. The sun appeared early and so did we. Camped out on the lazy river, we spent the day swimming, laughing, and playing.



We waded. We floated.



We racked up a mean tab from the waiter because who wants to leave this?



Amy declared that we should "stay here forever" as she gobbled up the chocolate on her pillow, and I really, really, really agreed.

And perhaps we would have if Sean hadn't got all jiggy on the volleyball court and broke two toes and three bones in his foot.

But it was an amazing shot, and that girl who he kicked going down was 10, not 8, thank you very much.

Ah, Michigan...

So now that I've had this Ash Wednesday to get organized, I can tell you about our trip to the lovely and completely forgettable, Midland, Michigan.

No, I'm kidding. We really had a great time, it's just an odd vacation destination is all. But we went there to see my Grandfather and so he could these great-grandchildren of his. Jess did not disappoint and gave him one of her nonsensical diatribes across the breakfast table complete with hand gestures and finger-waving. 90 years separate those two, and I cannot help but dwell on all of the love and life in between.

Much to Sean's gastric chagrin, we began our Michigan vacation with a trip to Big Boy--that culinary wonder.



He does not care much for this pleasant peninsula classic, but as I bit into that Slim Jim combination, I was taken back to many a day of my youth, and I swear I could smell my Mom's Cachet perfume sitting next to me.

After, we finished the drive up to our luxurious accommodations--the Holiday Inn. Now you know that I am admitted hotel snob, but I have to tell you, I was impressed. Not so much with the paper thin bed sheets, but for the mere fact they had a game room, indoor play place, pool and racquet ball courts. We had some fun getting our back-to-basics freak on with pinball and Ms. Pacman.

That night, after a quick visit with Grandpa and a not so quick trip to 37 different stores in search of boots and mittens, it started to snow. And snow. And snow. It was beautiful.

By the time we woke up the next morning, there was about 6 inches of fresh snow on the ground, and still coming down.



My Dad and Mary Anne came up, and we spent two days playing inside and then out. We tried sledding for the first time,


catching snowflakes on our tongues and generally figuring out this whole snow thing. Colleen came up on Sunday and we did the whole thing all over again with her. It was big fun.

I think after the kids had 36 hours of snow the consensus was that it was a great natural phenomenon to visit, but we wouldn't want to live there.


We ended the long weekend being almost late for the return flight because we had to make a stop at Bronner's and turkey jerky.



I wish we were going back this weekend.

Vacay Pics

Before I start posting pictures of Fay or the first day o' school, I thought I'd share a few photos of our vacation. While there are many of various points of interest, I have chosen just a handful to represent the family road trip. You use your imagination to fill in the blanks.



I was trying to get all Ansel Adams with Jessie in a field of sunflowers. Unfortunately, my camera was doing this very ill-timed and annoying impression of the Blue Man Crew.



There are about 50 of us wearing matching red T-shirts. Said T-shirts were more of a production than the Opening Ceremonies of the Oympics. With more fireworks.



This is us in front of the White House on our second to the last night of our trip on a totally impromptu side trip to Washington, D.C. It was probably my favorite.



And finally, if you find yourself at this stage of your life wearing shorts this short and all of your business out at a family show, then I suspect you want the attention and don't mind your backside embroidered on a blog.

Home, reluctantly

Well. I'm home. And none too pleased about being on the mainland again.

Technically, I'm peninsula-side, but it's still not the same as island time. At all.

We had a fabulous time. Beyond fabulous, like crazy fantastublous. We spent 5 solid days on the beach collecting sand dollars and shark's teeth, playing in the waves, making sand castles, watching dolphins. We spent out nights with friends, eating great food, drinking island cocktails and watching sunsets. It was perfect. Jessie is completely blond, Amy learned to wade out pretty far in the surf, Matty is the color of hot chocolate, and Stevie put more miles on his bike than Lance Armstrong. If beachcombing was an Olympic event, I'd be a gold medalist. Sean won silver for lugging all of our equipment to the beach and back everyday.

We got home late yesterday but we'd all still be there if it weren't for that job-because-we-need-to-eat thing. Although if we could trade in all of these sand dollars for actual green ones, we could retire right now and be millionaires.



(These aren't all mine, I was just the banker for the team of diggers.)



And this is one of only 3 pictures I took the entire time. I hate bringing the camera to the beach for so many reasons, but my iPhone was handy one evening, so here you go. (If some of my more photogenic friends send me good ones, I'll post.)

Okay, let me go back into my decompression chamber so as to re-acclimate myself to land.

Sigh.