I really don't care how much it costs

I am currently doing the advanced math on paying an embarrassing amount of money for a dog trainer to come in and help me train this freaking needle-tooth dervish--or whatever breed she really is--or paying to replace the carpets,(she is now chewing holes in the middle of the floor) all of my shoes, (she doesn't chew in pairs, only singles, of course) our clothes, (they all have holes in them at nose height) and child limbs (prosthetics might be expensive, but at least I'll save in Band-Aids and Neosporin.)


Dog trainer it is, then.