Merry Christmas

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas--mine was wonderful.

Good night.

I'm late, as usual

The Christmas/Easter cards have not arrived yet!!

They were shipped on 12/13, and it is now the 21st after the mail has come...Happy New Year everyone.

And to add to the seasonal mayhem, the kitchen is scheduled to be started on 12/27. Yes, 2 days after Christmas, I need the kitchen and laundry room cabinets, drawers and counters emptied and void of all of the crap I've been squirreling away in there. The washer and dryer broke yesterday, so not only do I have piles of unlaundered laundry, I had to shell out some hard pressed December cash on appliances that only cause more work for me. I hate that.

And now, a slight delay in book release. I have no idea what "slight" translates into, but hopefully it just means we'll be celebrating New Year's with hot copies of SD.

Oy. I'm going to have an egg nog.

The Week Ahead

I am staring ahead at the week of Christmas eves and evenings bravely.

In a mere 6 hours, this house will be filled with people for the annual Wrapping Party. Tomorrow is the company Christmas party and Tuesday is the scheduled finish shopping target. (Christmas cards are going out sometime in there, too) Wednesday and Thursday are the detail attending days--wrapping, shopping, baking...and Friday Dad arrives for Christmas.

I had a weak moment last night--a dent in my holiday armor--where I thought I had perhaps over-committed and that I wasn't going to be able to pull this off in typical unflappable fashion.

I have since buffed that dent right out with some royal icing and a stick of unsalted butter which I actually have enough left to whip up a batch of cookies for the party today.

Bring it, beyotch.

This might have to do for a Christmas Card

It's not the shopping, wrapping, or decorating. It is not the schedule shuffling, partying, baking, or even shipping of the gifts. The cooking or arranging of babysitters won't even be my downfall.

No, this holiday season, I will be defeated by the kid's Christmas picture.

I tried a month ago to bring them all to a photographer to get the annual Xmas/Amy birthday photo taken. That was an utter disater. Amy would have nothing to do with capturing her image on film that day, so we left picture-less with the thought that I would complete the task myself when she was in a better mood.

Apparently, this is a far deeper issue with her, as every subsequent attempt has been met with the same fit of screams and tears. How she can be laughing one minute at the Spongebob Christmas special, then in a fit of un-Yuletide tears when she spies the camera the next, is beyond me.

So here it is, December 10, and if I don't find some way to record their images today so the Shutterfly order can be placed before New Year's, you all might be getting the generic Happy Holidays sans graphics. My humble apologies.

How can this face deny the world of her beauty???

I'm Done!

Well, not really, actually, not even that close...but I have reached a major milestone in my Christmas shopping.

I have all of the out of town gifts purchased! Woohoooo!

And I am quite happy with my purchases to boot.

So now the wrapping and the shipping--the bane of my holiday existence--but tonight I will relish in my consumer accomplishments.

Closer...

I'm alternating between weeping and giggling.

I have my ISBN for the book! And soon a Library of Congress number! Yeehaw.

I'm thinking of changing my name to, "0-9771003-7-5." Well, maybe just my middle name. Or maybe I can change my phone number and all of my PIN's to that...

Doh. Never mind.

(But I'll be playing those will be my Lotto numbers this weekend.)

It is time

Obviously, I am not a traditionalist.

Therefore, it should come as no surprise that I do not partake in shopping on Black Friday. Nor did I attempt holiday gift preparation during the entire long weekend. I didn't even shop online on Cyber Monday.

But today, Giving in Finally Tuesday, I will begin what will define my being for the next several weeks. Shopping commences tonight at 5:30 after the babysitter arrives and the alcohol has time to course through my bloodstream before I head to the Mall.

Oy.

Happy Thanksgiving

Certainly one of my favorite days of the year. Looking forward to being with all of my blessings.

I am thankful for a great many things, and a great many people, and I wish them all a peace-filled day.

Hipster

Thinking I'm quite hip, I buy a pair of Old Navy's "Boy Cut" jeans yesterday.

All day, I've been pulling them up, tripping over the too long pantlegs, and I am reminded why unisex clothing is not a good idea.

Because not only am I hip, but I have a pair of them that hold up girl's jeans.

Stealing my kids' toys

During the day when my kids are in school, there is one thing that I rifle through their things to play with when they are not around...

No, it's not the Ninja turtles nor the hockey equipment. It is not even the leftover Halloween candy that I am dutifully ignoring. And rest assured, it is not the Gameboy or Playstation or chirping electronic dog.

It's the iPod Nano.

Stevie got it for his 10th birthday, and I am absolutely hooked on its meoldic charms. We have downloaded all of his Radio Disney, Shrek and Shark Tale soundtracks, but with enough space for 10,000 songs, I have snuck in a few of my own. So again, a little Sarah MacLachlan to get you mellow for the weekend:

Answer

I will be the answer at the end of the line
I will be there for you while you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance if you cant look down

If it takes my whole life I wont break I wont bend
Itll all be worth it worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
that I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
youll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes a whole life I wont break I wont bend
Itll all be worth it worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
And when the stars have all burned out
Youll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently into morning for the night has been unkind

OMG

How cool is this?

My Understudy

I'm using my cartoon body double for all of the art stunts in the book.

Hey, It's been awhile

I haven't been around much, but I've missed you.

This blog thing often makes me feel like I'm speaking into a vacuum, but there are times when I have an idea who is reading and I appreciate that.

Even when I don't have much to say.

The End.

And it is done.

Well, at least the majority of my initial portion, anyway.

I'm talking about the book, silly. After 2 weeks of utter neglect to anything but my well-caressed keyboard, I have finished the writing for the book. It is now in the capable hands of my editor, while the art gets finished, (which is absolutely delicious, btw) website constructed, (another amazing measure of coolness)and the marketing begins.

I am taking a brief respite from column writing to finish up the assignments o' the month, and reaquaint myself with this beautiful family of mine that I write so much about, but haven't quite seen in the last few weeks.

And as a sweet aside, I received a beautiful sculpture from a beautiful sculptor today. I feel blessed to have written it, but humbled by his thank you gift.

Well weekend wishes all.

Quote of the day

I've been madly scribbling out the last of my material for the book which is proceeding nicely, albeit quite quickly. In the midst of the writing, editing and designing, another unrelated piece gets accepted into another unrelated publication by an unrelated editor. Yeah--I don't really have time to be excited.

But I do have time to be annoyed.

Looking over the proposed edits, it doesn't resemble the original piece I submitted, which makes me wonder why they even accepted it in the first place. But--whatever--my ego has long since taken a latte break during the editing process anyway.

Until I read this:

Sometimes with humor writing, it is okay to go a little over the top as I have done here.

Really?!? Because I've been confused on that particular nuance after writing a humor column every week for the past 3 years. Maybe I should send you my manuscript and you can look over that to see if I've mastered that particular skill. Thanks for the tip.

Beyotch.

Dear Mom,

I miss you everyday, but today I miss you an extra scoop.

I love you.

Same Old

I've been remiss on the updates, but they seem to repeat themselves, so you can simply refer to previous posts to see what is going on:

1) Hurricane
2) Amy sick
3) Writing/working on book.

Gosh, I haven't even been reading much to report on, either. I really wish I had more variety at the moment to constitute a fun post, but I simply don't.

Perhaps by the end of the week there will be a plethora of interesting material.


Let's hope for all our sakes.

"The strongest hurricane on record"

Back from Disney, the stomach flu and storm preparations. How about you?

While in the happiest place on earth, was less than for many of us. It started with Matthew's digestive system and quickly spread to everyone else. I cannot remember ever being so sick. I prayed for death and its sweet release from expectoration hell. Amy, of course, got it the worst, and her 24 hour stint is now going on Day 4.

That brings us to today, and Wilma. Another storm; another flurry of preparations and worry.

It's Wednesday, and the storm is not expected to hit until Saturday, so that means that the projected path will change at least 6 dozen times until then. It is the nature of the beast. So the only thing a reasonable mother can do is to prepare for both scenarios: staying and leaving. Both with its own set of pros and cons.

No decisions until at least tomorrow, my friends.

Party

I think my hangover has a hangover.

We went to a big glitzy event last night. All of the players and playahs were there. My recollections:

Free draft beer. Gambling. Free beer. Hockey goalie dealing blackjack. Toasting player with free beer. Spending $600 on a hockeystick toybox. More beer. Stanley Cup. Beer. My favorite hockey player signing said toybox. Beer. Headache. Advil with beer.

We got this beauty in between rounds apparently.

"But that's what I've always called you."

Tears are brimming in my eyes from this kindergartener's request and declaration:

Matthew: When you come into my class, could you not call me "Moo" or "Moose?" Just call me Matthew now.

No.