Monday, December 07, 2009
Dude, I can't win
In the I-can’t-win-no-matter-how-hard-I-try-yet-I-still-do-every-damn-day-anyway (a.k.a “Figures”) category, it seems there’s a consumer group--a really late and completely calendar-oblivious consumer group--that has determined that Zhu Zhu Pets--the hottest toy of 2009--may be unsafe, as my friend, Sharon reports.
The government is investigating the claim, but it seems these guys think the Zhu emits too much antimony, which among its many cited dangers includes the perilous description: "Antimony is toxic and immediately dangerous to life or health at 50 mg m-3 or above. (6) Exposure to 9 milligrams per cubic meter of air (mg/m3) of antimony as stibnite for a long time can irritate your eyes, skin, and lungs. Breathing 2 mg/m3 of antimony for a long time can cause problems with the lungs (pneumoconiosis) heart problems (altered electrocardiograms), stomach pain, diarrhoea, vomiting and stomach ulcers. People who drank over 19 ppm of antimony once, vomited."
I think one of those footnotes refers to other pleasant side effects like optic warts and small pox.
Or it could note that Mattel was the sponsor of the study.
I wonder if the New York Times will be calling for my reaction on spending a king’s ransom on arsenic-laden fake hamsters.
At least I’m on record as saying we got the yellow one.