A So Unlike Me Weekend

On Laundry Monday, I did...laundry. I was trying to come up with an alternative punchline, but I couldn't.

But before Laundry Monday, there was Go to the Mall Sunday and Make Your Own Crayon Saturday. The latter two activities are so unlike me, that they deserved a whole day name dedicated to the novelty of the occurrence in my house. And pictures because I know you don't believe me.

First, we took all of our broken crayons and mixed the colors in a mini muffin tin after spraying with cooking spray.



Then, we baked them at 275 degrees until they molten mini cupcakes of hot wax.

We placed in the freezer for just a second to harden and to spill on the frozen pancakes, and voila! Weird little discs o' crayon.



They were fun for about 4 seconds before they realized it was awfully difficult to color inside the lines of any other drawing than a large open sky or ocean. An orange-razzmatazz-Burnt Sienna sky.

The mall outing was significantly more fruitful since I spent $700 at Build-A-Bear. And $19 on the greatest T-Shirt ever.



But I did have to brave the haunted house-esque of Hot Topix--the most macabre retail outlet ever created this side of Hell, so the Sonic T-shirt's actual value is similar to the Build-A-Bear bill.

But I got a free birthday gift of lip gloss at Sephora, so it's all good.

P.S. Keep those comments coming on the gifts from Hallmark, and t-2days until Vincenzos. What's on your pizza?

Tracey Eve

It's Tracey Eve.

That's what we call the day before our birthdays. Actually, only Matty does because his joy for all things birthday-related is not limited to his own. He is sweet that way.

I've worked my tail off the last few days, and so this afternoon I'm going out to lunch with the girls. Tonight is dinner out at Vincenzo's because I love it and I'm gearing up for the pizza party in a week. (Have you sent in your toppings entry??) But other than that, my birthday wishes are simple and few.

1.) I really wish Amy would play soccer at her game tomorrow. Sitting on my lap in her cleats from the sidelines is no fun for either of us.

2.) Intern solves foot issue.

3.) Husband solves unrelated foot issue.

4.) The prolific and talented writing fairy completes my next assignment by deadline brilliantly.

5.) Ditto on arrival of grocery store fairy.

6.) A long, solid night's sleep.

7.) A good hair day.

8.) Lots of laughter, but not the awkward kind.

9.) Book report fairy, please join your pixie brethren.

10.) Sangrias have no calories.

No April Fool's

So I suppose I should post some miscellaneous miscellaney while I am waiting for the perfect ending to my current article to appear magically on the document whilst we chat. It seems as though I've left some few loose ends over the last few weeks that I should tie up or something. So in no particular order except the randomness of my thoughts:

~Sleepover/Campout went well. Half of them made it in the tent until about 2 a.m. when it started raining, then everyone stayed awake until 5 giggling. Except Sean who was pretty tired after sleeping on the lanaii waiting for the rain. I made cupcakes which officially qualifies me for anti-psychotic drugs and 42 cats.

~A couple of weeks ago I signed up for one of those fancy wind inspections that Florida insurance companies are offering. I waited until the last minute because frankly, I thought this was just another scam to bilk me for the $150 inspection, and then sign up for $25,000 worth of wind shutters in order to save .47 cents on our homeowners insurance. Um, hello, was I wrong. Our annual premium dropped by over $2000 dollars. Hello, bonus. That's some serious fat stacks we just saved.

~Matty and Sean are off to Houston this weekend for a little Wrestlemania action. You have never seen such a happy child. It is so sweet to see how excited a ladder match can make an 8 year old.

~We've all got a lot of things in the hopper right now. New projects, new opportunities and general newness. And it's really exciting. I don't know what will be there after the sorting process, but I think it will be an adventure. And that can't be bad.

I'm surprised there aren't more "Sangrias"

OhmyLord.

Kirsten over at The Norwindians posted this fun little tool called Wordle that picks out the words you frequently use in your blog and posts them in a word bubble.



All of the Dexatrim and meat references are disturbing.

What's playing?

You all owe me mad 21st century props.

I have seen two non-animated movies this week and it's only Tuesday. First, I saw "Juno" on Sunday, and while I know it isn't exactly a poppin' fresh new release, I did see it in the decade it was made so that's progress.

Second, I saw a movie in an actual theater tonight. And while it certainly wasn't the screenplay genius as Sunday's film, it did not star Woody or Buzz so I think "Mall Cop" counts in my thin cinematic resume.

Go me.

Well, hello Tuesday

I took a Benedryl last night to help me through my night time congestion that the kids have been so generous in sharing, and I woke up this morning feeling like someone had forced me to sleep against my will. Heavy-limbed this morning, and not particularly rested.

But I had to get up and out early this morning so the doctor could tell me that J. has a double ear infection. Of course she does.

After a month hiatus, I am covering the meeting tonight. The good news is that means tonight is Tuesday, and I am going to try to steal an hour beforehand to shop for, (dare I say it aloud?) Istmas-Chray. I am determined not to pay full price for any item this year. I'll let you know how that goes...

I also need warmer clothes for J. because the closest thing she has to pants looks like this, and I can't help but think of Madonna in the "Papa Don't Preach" video every time I see her in it.





Either that or baby prison.

Please tell me it's Friday already

Is it me, or was this an incredibly long week for being an abbreviated one? I feel like I’m dragging around a couple of bags of wet sand in each shoe.

So I didn’t write a column this week--still processing amongst the many new topics that have just opened up in the world of satire and humor--but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been busy. A short list below, since it involves audience participation.

~I was asked to participate in the High Heel Hike to raise money for breast cancer research. If you want to join us on September 20 or donate to the cause, that would sure be nice. I think we all get to dress in drag and walk a mile. It’ll be fun, and who doesn’t love the idea of pushing a stroller in stilettos?

~And if you are crazy about Disney, then there is this Disney Mom Panel opportunity that you can read about here. A sort of Mrs. Disney Mom 2009 thing. (Don’t worry, I cannot fulfill my duties as the Queen, so someone else has a fair shot.)

~The Intern’s birthday is on Monday. I need to bake and frost something. And we need to figure out how to celebrate that event. So get busy, party planners.

~And check out this little distraction, or rather Category 4 distraction. Looks like Ike is looking for a showdown with the Gulf coast. This does not bode well for those of us looking to do anything after 8 p.m. on Wednesday…



~There’s like 755 more things I want to address blog-wise, but that whole bag of wet sand thing has just traveled to my fingers and I should chop a carrot or something for dinner before I atrophy.

Of course

We had to return to the doctor’s office for M’s foot which doesn’t seem to be healing all that quickly, and I was running late--of course--so I had to park in the garage. Which only cost $1 but I didn’t have any cash--of course--and the thing didn’t take debit cards. No biggie, right? Just scrounge up some change from the counsel. Yeah, um, I had just cleaned that out to clean out the car the day before so there was no coinage.

Plan B--scrounge the bottom of my purse. Okay, that--of course--wasn’t recently cleaned out so there should have been plenty of silver there.

Of course there was.

But it was covered in chocolate.

I had forgotten 3 party favors in there from Sunday, so there was about 16 ounces of chocolate-covered nickels stuck to the bottom. It was gross, and--of course--I had no baby wipes. No napkins. Nothing freaking to wipe 100 cents off with.

The cars started to line up behind me, and at long last I find a Chlorox wipe in the glove box. But--of course--the package lost its resealable sticker on top long ago which keeps the wipes moist, so I dried 2 quarters, 2 dimes, and six nickels with a dry half paper towel that smelled faintly of bleach and hot cocoa.

And that pretty much summed up the entire day. Seriously mildly annoying, but nothing earth-shatteringly tragic. Throw in Groundhog Day toy messes, a letter from the school nurse alerting us to a case of head lice in preschool, and a really shameful display of bad manners by adults who should really know better; and you’ve got this Wednesday.

So I’m going to bed now hoping that tomorrow will be filled with plenty of fresh Handi-wipes, a clean family room, and nicer people.

And a pocketful of nickel-free chocolate. Of course.

Sometimes the world smiles upon you...

At the last minute, we have found:

a) an available babysitter for a Saturday night

b) good friends who also found an available babysitter on a Saturday night

c) $400 in gift certificates at local steakhouse

d) a reservation opening at said steakhouse

e) $300 expired 2 weeks ago but the manager said she would honor said gift certificates

f) One very happy woman.

Girl's Weekend

Despite the Thursday Binge, I did complete the Thigh Manifesto.

And a lot more. I have already cleaned a bit and made some of our dinners for our trip. The boys left for a weekend doing boy things--scratching, baseball and eating poorly--so it's just us girls until Sunday. I suppose we should shop and clean, but I am planning on writing and packing for next week's pilgrimage to the beach. We leave Thursday, but I so wish it were sooner.

So that's about it for the afternoon. If you need me I'll be writing in between rented chick flicks and diaper changes.

Bon voyage

I am racing. Racing to get us packed for a little excursion northward for a family wedding.

This is proving to be difficult.

It is the first time all 6 of us are going to fly. 6. That's the snack Nazi Dad, 2 bored boys, Amy, a teething baby and the biggest basket case of all--me. I HATE TO FLY. I HATE TO FLY WITH KIDS EVEN MORE. The thought of collapsing the double satroller through security absolutely exhausts me even right now. I know I'm going to burst into tears when they tell me I can't have diaper rash cream and Similac on the plane. Seriously. If I had time, I would drive 24 hours rather than go to an airport.

So I am trying to pack for 6 with coats, wedding clothes and baby gear. I think I've narrowed it down to 23 bags for 4 days.

We'll wear our underwear inside out.

"It's a no from me, Paula?"

I'm on hold with Delta. Because I can't do this transaction online when you have 3 kids, 1 lap child, eCredits, eTickets and SkyMiles to credit and so forth. Whatever.

But the bizarre part of this phone call is not that it is taking 47 minutes and counting, but that the hold music is crazy. There are all of these popular songs being sung by untalented singers. Seriously. "White Flag," is not being crooned by Dido. And that is not Norah Jones nor James Taylor. Perhaps that's Annie Leonard singing, "Broken Glass." It's like listening to American Idol auditions. Simon might just come back on the line by saying, "That was really terrible, but your confirmation number is 2000998876."

What up with dat, dawg?

It's the little things that get me through

I mark this week with only small victories.

Like that I found a dress to wear to the auction. In a decent size. On sale. And when the saleswoman zipped me up which was no small task, she said, "Something must be in the way of the zipper." She didn't say that the obstruction was back fat. Bless her.

And the happiest email of the day was from Pottery Barn telling me the top of my new desk that has been back ordered for a month has been shipped...Yes, I've been using my new new desk without a top in a curious physical and lingual challenge.

I made all of my deadlines, however the time I set aside for novel writing didn't get used as such.

That I made a perfect Bearnaise sauce for our anniversary dinner.

And tomorrow is Friday and I made it with only 4 trips to the pediatrician's office.

So yippee! with a lower-case y.