Be Out There Challenge Day 2

The second day of our Be Out There challenge was also the last weekday of Spring Break for us. While Stevie had all sorts of lofty goals for this vacation, Matty only wanted one thing: to play miniature golf.

An odd request, but easy enough to indulge.

So I cashed in some Juicy Rewards points for discount tickets to Captain Bligh’s Landing: a miniature golf course down in Clearwater.

Please note that Clearwater Beach during Spring Break is only second to the number of people who crowd Disney World on Spring Break. (See Friday's entry.)

But no matter, we braved the traffic circle--an insanely cruel contraption that reminds me of revolving doors on hotels--cool for minute to look at, but really, have you ever tried to push a stroller through? Not at all practical, and borders on decapitating. Anyhoo, I only went around four times before I figured out how to exit, and with a car full of vertigo-infused children, we went to Captain Bligh’s.

It’s a funny little place. An interesting historical fact about old Tampa Bay, after a night of pillaging the city and looting our treasure, pirates used to engage in that ancient seafaring tradition known as putt-putt.

Okay, I totally made that up, but I always wonder why so many miniature golf courses are pirate-themed since I can’t imagine Bluebeard taking a little pencil from his scabbard and writing down his par 3 score after a particularly tricky bank shot over a Sno Bowl colored waterfall. I’m not judging, but I suppose after many long nights at sea, pirates would be particularly inclined toward astro-turf and colored golfballs. Again, not judging.

But it was a gorgeous day, and we all had such a good time. Usually, Sean gets to do all of the putt-putting with the kids and I stay home with the baby, but today we brought her and she got to throw around a plastic club and a ball 3 centimeters from the hole.

And after an hour in that beautiful sunshine and few hundred strokes later, Matty proved victorious. We celebrated in a 1980 (it seriously could have been 1880) arcade with Skeeball.

Curiously, my Ms. Pac-Man and golf score were the exact same.


P.S. There are many moms taking this challenge and getting out there. You can read about their adventures as well:

Ashley Waldvogel Gaddy
Jennifer James
Liz Thompson
Rachel Matthews
Kim Moldofsky
Amie Hurst Adams
Asha Dornfest
Kristin Sundin Brandt
Anna Fader
Veronique Christiansen
Holly Ambrose
Debi Pfitzenmaier
Christine Koh
Cooper Munroe and Emily McKhann

You can stop growing up now

Happy 3rd Birthday, Jesso.

Day 1 of unorthodox, yet perfectly Floridian challenge

You may think that just because we live in Florida--an hour's drive from the country's premiere theme parks--means that we are in Orlando every weekend.

Not really... just every other.

This week to kick off our Out There challenge, we went to Disney World for the day. Granted, I'm not sure this is what my friends at the NWF headquarters had in mind, but we did spend a great deal of time outside together yesterday. Here are my Twitter updates to prove it:





That 4-7 minute number I told you about earlier? We crushed that number just setting up the stroller alone.

We saw native wildlife.



We traveled to different climes.



We talked to the animals.



We went horseback riding.



We went to the mountains. (Splash, Space and Thunder.) And the sea. (Small World and the Pirates of the Caribbean.)

And while this outside may have also had a few plastic trees and animals of the animatronic variety, I did spend twelve hours with my favorite people in the beautiful spring sunshine.



We live in Florida, and that's how we roll.

And speaking of Easter on Sunday..

...that also means that Lent is officially over and in theory, I could go drink a soda in celebration of going without processed foods for 40 days.

But I'm not going to do that. Because I honestly don't want to.

This was a pretty interesting experiment. If you recall, I vowed to "give up processed foods" as my Lenten sacrifice. Admittedly, this was pretty vague and I didn't even know what that meant in the beginning of this, but I think I have a handle on it now.

1.) Chemical-free. My main goal was to try to eliminate as many chemicals, additives and preservatives from my food as possible. Someone asked if I gave up flour and things like that, and the answer is no--it really was the chemical-y fake stuff I was to avoid. (I only buy whole wheat or unbleached flour.)

2.) This meant a lot of label reading. I was absolutely shocked at some of things I've been mindlessly shoving in my mouth that after a scan of the label was nothing more than a freakish science experiment. Case in point: maple syrup. I dare you to read the back of a bottle of anything other than pure maple syrup. You will be horrified.

3.) Label-reading leads to better choices. If I was staring at two brands of the same product, I chose the one with the least amount of ingredients. No-brainer, right? Wrong. Some things labeled as "natural" have nothing natural about them. (I'm looking at you, certain brands of yogurt.) If there was an option to buy it fresh, I bought it. If there was an organic choice, I chose it. I continually sought out better labels rather than better packages.

4.) A return to whole foods. This again sounds easy, but it is surprisingly not. In addition to shopping a lot more frequently, I shopped in different places as well. I discovered my town's weekly Farmer's Market, and a fruit stand on the corner that sells tomatoes that actually taste like a tomato. I cooked and prepared a lot more myself than I ever dreamed. And it was good.

5.) People complain all of the time about the higher costs of organic foods. I disagree. Sure, organic eggs cost more than regular. That bottle of maple syrup was almost $8 as compared to the Aunt Jemima high-fructose sugar water. But all of the farmer's market produce was hands-down cheaper than my grocery store. I saved a boat load of money buying a box of long-leaf black tea that I brewed myself as opposed to a case of Coke. Yogurt and granola costs less than a dozen donuts or a bagels.

An amazing thing happens when you're not filling your body up with junky empty calories--you tend to eat less. And when you are putting more thought and to consideration into what you're eating, you also tend to have more respect for it and don't waste nearly as much. Not that I thought I did that before, but an end of day old bread became croutons (no need to buy a box) and leftovers are repurposed in new and creative ways.

6.) Everyone has to make the choices that make sense to them. I really tried to focus on avoiding all things with the high fructose corn syrup--I'll take raw sugar any old day, and partially-hydrogenated anything. That meant no soda, no margarine, fried foods and most anything that came out of a can. I still ate meat--looked for the grass-fed beef and organic chicken whenever possible--and I certainly indulged my sweet tooth--I just made sure I made the sweets myself and knew exactly what I put into it.

Did it work?

I think it did. I definitely feel de-toxed and really have no desire to go back to the old ways. I think I've lost weight, my skin and hair feel healthier, and mentally, I feel better, too. Like I've let something go on my terms and I can't imagine going back.

In fact, I think it's time to take it further. While meals have unbeknownst to the family gotten healthier, I will now incorporate these habits into their other eating routines as well. Lunches and snacks will get an overhaul as well and we'll find a way to make it as non-traumatic as mine was.

I also still need to work on the meat aspect--I wasn't happy with my grocery store's option of "all-vegetarian" diet for their beef as opposed to "grass-fed." There's a difference and I want the latter. I also plan to get a lot more creative with the foods I've discovered like quinoa and farro and the fresh vegetables. I planted my garden, and hope to really make better use of that as well.

But at the end of the day--or forty of them--I think this has translated over from experiment to lifestyle change.

And it is a delicious one.

Catching up before I get back out

Spring break officially began last Thursday, but I'm counting today as my official start date since homemade Pop-tarts and seventeen other dishes for three complete meals for 21 guests on Easter day in the midst of the great carpet project meant a lot of cooking, shopping, and cleaning. And cooking.

And so this week is a bit of a different pace than the last few. The weather finally turned beautiful, and it's time to get out there.

Literally.





I am proudly serving on on the National Wildlife Federation's advisory panel to help spread the word about the NWF's "Be Out There" campaign--encouraging kids and families to get outside. One of their sobering estimates suggests that most kids spend just 4-7 minutes outdoors per day. This is in contrast to 6 hours or more in front of some electronic device.

So I will be taking the challenge with my kids this week to see if we can bump up that 7 minute number to something much more respectable. I will be chronicling my efforts via webcam which should prove horrifying and interesting as well. In addition to exploring our own backyard, I'm finally going to visit all of the cool local spots that I've been promising them for years.

I don't know which of us will have the most fun this week.


Disclosure: I am not being paid to serve on this panel--just something I believe in and look forward to helping with this important effort.

WIth a name like Diva Jam, it has to be good

I'm jamming out some jam.

Last week Jessie and I finally discovered our town's weekly farmer's market, and amongst the juicy goodies we picked up was a beautiful flat of strawberries.



Unlike the season's earlier offerings, these were beautifully ripe and cheap. I knew I wanted to do something productive with them, so I decided to make jam.

I've only done this one other time--back in St. Louis about 15 years ago. I had forgotten pretty much everything, so I educated myself on the Google and began the process.

The first mistake I made was doubling the recipe I found online. Apparently, this causes all of the sugar/water/fruit ratios to get all out of whack and instead of ending up with jam, I had strawberry syrup. But I was determined to complete this project, so I started over with the right amounts and a little help from some liquid pectin and began anew.



Much better and the first batch of Diva Jam Strawberry was born.



I'm thinking this might be the first product in my line someday.

Getting our Spring on

Getting our Spring on with Jessie means...

Spring cleaning. Check.

Spring pictures.



Gardening.



A pretty nice season. Glad it finally arrived.

Juicy Deal o' the Day

Free juice!

For only 1 point redemption from your Juicy Rewards account, you can get a coupon for a Buy One Get One Free coupon on a carton of O.J.

Hurry--it's only good for today--you can print the coupon today, but you have until April 7 to redeem.

(And keep checking that site daily for more daily deals.)

Countdown to 40--Foresight

In just a few short weeks, I turn 40.

I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that yet because we've had a few more pressing issues of late to deal with, but long before hospitals and doctors, we decided we'd celebrate this momentous occasion with a weekend in Vegas.

I haven't allowed myself to think about this let alone get excited, but as we move farther away from cardiac issues and closer to April, I find an excitement building quietly.

We chose Las Vegas because it's fun. A few friends are joining us there. We are going to lounge around resort pools without having to stay at the shallow end. We are going to watch cheesy shows and cheesier people on the strip. We're going to laugh a lot. And eat. And even gamble.

And even though we planned this birthday getaway months ago, it turned out to be absolutely perfect timing.

Maybe there is something to this age and wisdom thing.

It's the only feast day I can name off the top of my head for obvious and delicious reasons

So when I couldn't find a decent (or a single one for that matter) St. Joseph's pastry in town on his feast day for crying out loud, I made my own.



St. Joseph also happens to be the patron saint of pastry chefs. This makes perfect sense to me now because eating this dessert is a religious experience.

That, and it took me seven days and nights to create it.

Carpet is a way more interesting topic anyway

I don't want to talk about it.

I don't want to talk about recurrence rates. Or cardiac tissue that is more like hydras that when you burn one away, two more can grow in its place. I don't want to talk about angst or worry or wondering. Or waiting.

I don't want to talk about any of it.

So let's talk about something else. Something fun and unambiguous.

Like carpet.

We're getting new in all of the bedrooms, and before I start thinking of what a crazy huge project emptying half of the house's various and sundry crap into the the other half will be, I am very excited. It's that home project I've been putting off for a couple of years for the sheer pain in the rear factor, but now that I've actually picked it out and resigned myself to the mess of upheaval, I'm good. It's the first in a series of three major home improvement projects that I hope to complete before the year ends.

So while we may not be walking easily these days, at least there'll be a nice layer of adobe Frieze beneath our feet.

One week

Well, I can say with expert certainty that that was the longest week of my life.

A week ago Stevie woke up in the PICU after heart surgery, this morning he returned to school.

Obviously, that means he's okay, but I'm still not ready to write out all of the details until I knock on the Karmic wood tomorrow after his post-op visit. The operation was filled with "surprises," and that's a term I can live without our pediatric cardiologist ever saying again in the middle of a 4+ hour surgery.

But Stevie is tough; a strong young man who needs a healthy heart to hold his beautiful soul and so I know things will eventually heal and we can celebrate the miracle of finding the ticking time bomb in his chest.

But for now, I'm just quietly counting my blessings.

Update

I've been trying to keep everyone posted via text, email and the great communicator, Facebook, but in case I've missed you, Stevie is home again healing.

I won't say it wasn't rough--because it was the worst thing ever--but he is home and I'm taking the rest of the week off to get him healed and back.

I'm sure I'll have more to say about this later, but right now I just want to hold him and be thankful.

Soon

I think I've cleaned and laundered everything we're not wearing now.

We've shopped, stocked and packed.

We've cooked. (And will all day.)

We've filled the weekend with as much activity as any 14 year old could hope for, even distracting him with an old friend.





Logistics have been worked out and details confirmed.

Prayers have been whispered, then shouted.

It's bustling and noisy like every other day in this house but it is eerily quiet as well.

We're ready, and yet.

So, here it is

Okay, so I suppose the jig is up.

If you know me at all--or even not really--you’ve probably noticed I’ve been phoning it in a bit to this blog lately. That’s pretty accurate.

Oh, I’ve been busy writing, mind you--I’ve got Whoa Momma keeping me busy as well as various freelance projects that I haven’t failed on yet, but truthfully, at the end of a long day I haven’t been much for writing the personal stuff.

We’ve been consumed lately with our son’s upcoming surgery. While this isn’t a secret by any means, it also isn’t something I am going to write about here yet--if ever--but if you want an update, please send me an email and I’ll make sure to include you. We are certainly blessed with many friends who are sending their prayers and healing thoughts our way and we are eternally grateful for that--I just don’t have the energy for a public forum on this subject.

Once we get on the other side of this I’ll share more, but right now I’m too busy worrying.

Thanks.

Music to whose ears?

I readily admit to buying a lot of stupid and worthless crap over my tenure as a parent. Fad toys that were popular for -8 seconds, expensive video game systems….Moon Sand. But there is one item that has never crossed my Target cart, and that’s a KidzBop album.

You’re familiar with this little gem--it’s the CD that features a bunch of unknown children “singing” pop songs, because there’s nothing quite like six year-olds reminding you that if you liked it you should have put a ring on it. Off key.

Now I’m not judging, but who exactly does this music appeal to? As an adult, I get kid karaoke every day from the back seat of my car from children I have given birth to without paying $14.99 +shipping and handling. My kids have no use for this--they really want Miley Cyrus singing a Miley Cyrus song, not Mrs. Frankenberger’s fourth grade remedial music class.

And yet, we are on KidzBop 17! That means this has been successful enough to warrant seventeen different versions of this Top 40 kindergarten chorus.

I just don’t get it. Some lyrics to these popular songs are pretty catchy when sung by Beyonce on the radio, but don’t translate all that well to an elementary school sing-along. When I hear a pre-pubescent voice croon out that they want to party like a rockstar, it’s awkward. Not to mention creepy.

So this all begs two very important questions: besides the parents of Mrs. Frankenberger’s fourth graders and people who want all of their favorite songs destroyed in a school Christmas pageant gone horribly, horribly wrong; who exactly is buying this?

(Question number two is more rhetorical: when five year-olds are singing about “trippin’ wit da Osbournes,” is this before or after their naps?)

Ok, maybe I am judging just a little.

(Cross-Posted on Whoa Momma of the St. Pete Times)

The juice and nothing but the juice

I’ve always thought the job of ambassador would be a pretty sweet one.

After a long distinguished career in politics, I would someday be rewarded for my stellar civil service with a posh post like Ambassador to Fiji or something. No where that I would have to be responsible for actual diplomacy, but a nice peaceful place with warm weather and ample tropical treasures.

Little did I know that despite not ever having served in public office before, I would someday obtain that coveted post of ambassador in a nice peaceful place with warm weather and ample tropical treasures of sorts. Right here in Florida.

Well, sort of.

I have become an ambassador for Tropicana’s Juicy Rewards program, and in addition to never having to worry about scurvy again, I think this makes me some sort of official diplomat in Florida.



Quite simply, the program awards you points for every carton of orange juice you buy when you enter the codes under the cap online. But this isn’t some crazy green stamp program where you and the Brady kids are collecting stamps for seven years and have to save four gajillion for a sewing machine that you will then have to defend in an intense house of cards battle with your brothers--no, this is a pretty easy, straight forward way to get fun prizes, offers and discounts with something you already buy. My first carton of O.J. was worth 3 points, and I can already redeem points for free admission to baseball games, theater tickets and bowling among other options.

And because I am a natural ambassador and really excited to share this, I’m going to give you some more inside juice if you sign up online for free right now.

Use the code MOTHE-RHOOD within 6 hours of registering for Juicy Rewards and you'll get one extra bonus point worth $5 in savings immediately!
To get your bonus point:
1. Go to www.tropicana.com
2. Set-up your Tropicana Juicy Rewards account (just takes a minute!)
3. Visit the "Enter Codes" page within the site and get started with MOTHE-RHOOD*
*This one-time use code is valid for new accounts ONLY. Must be entered within 6 hours of creating your account.

I just went through the refrigerator here in my embassy and put 20 reward points in the bank. I’ve got my eye on some TaylorMade golf clubs perfect for afternoons on Fiji...


(Disclosure: While I don’t get diplomatic immunity in Florida or anywhere else for being an ambassador [I think we should revisit this technicality later] I did get 12 free points from Tropicana and O.J. money to try out the program.)

It's called "research"

Lions, tigers and Snuffleupagus, oh my!

Jessie and I got to go on assignement together today.



We told you about all of the new happenings coming this spring to Busch Gardens and the new Sesame Street’s Safari of Fun, a new 2 ½ acre play land with kid-size rides, water fountains, and other fun attractions, but the good news just got better with the announcement that kids can experience the fun FOR FREE.

Acknowledging that serving families and younger guests was an area that Busch Gardens wanted to improve upon, Donnie Mills, executive vice president and general manager announced today that kids five and under could explore the new attraction (and the rest of the park) for free for the rest of 2010.

Although the Safari of Fun won’t officially open until March 27, 2010, you can take advantage of this special offer now. Simply visit the website SesameStreetSafariOfFun.com and register online under "Free Preschool Pass" before you come to the park. Once there, you can redeem your free pass with your registration confirmation and child’s birth certificate. (This offer is only available to Florida residents.)

Don’t forget to check out the other fun options on the website as well. In addition to games and videos and photos of all of the new attractions, you’ll also be able to reserve your table at Dine with Elmo & Friends, a new opportunity to eat a couple of cookies (or scrambled eggs) with Cookie Monster and other furry friends.

Another special treat for families? Forty four spots in a preferred parking area will be available for guests with strollers so they can bypass the tram. Spaces are limited, but no additional fees will be charged for these prime spots. (You can request the parking spots at the parking tollbooths.)

All of these new family-friendly additions and specials mean big time fun for your little one.

(Cross-posted at Whoa Momma)

I remember this, it's called school

This morning was the first in over two weeks that all three school kids made it to school. We've passed around this mysterious fever virus between us, and I think Jingle is the last on the family list to get it.

(The over/under is 11:30 that I'll get a call to pick them up though...)

So J-Bell and I will go about trying to establish a new routine for the remaining months of the school year. She likes the gym again (good for my thighs bad for my excuses) so we'll be spending more mornings there. The writer's block seems to have eased a bit--didn't get into print on Sunday but have actually turned in a few assignments this week and gearing up for more. And avoiding processed foods means more time in the kitchen so it's not like I'm want for things to do.

Which means I've just run out of excuses for potty training.

Damn.

Summer must be coming soon...

Hey, The St. Pete Times linked to our R.V. vacation last summer on the front page today.



Good times...

(I wonder if it will be in print tomorrow?)

And another thing I'm giving up for Lent?

Writer's block and non-productivity.

Not-so Fat Tuesday much longer if I can help it

I'm hoping that by my Lenten example, Tuesdays will never be Fat again...

Late last year I gave up soda. I gave up fried food. Permanently. My New Year's resolution was to eat healthier, so I think I'm sensing a theme here when I declare for Lent I'm giving up as much processed "food" as I can. The more unpronouncable the ingredient label, the less likely I will be to consume it.

I've kind of already started this by quietly changing out a lot of the things we eat, but during this forty days and beyond, I will try that much harder to eliminate the junk and take more stock into what we put into our bodies. Not so much for the weight standpoint (which I am not taking for granted nor will I turn away a slimmer waistline) but more for our overall health. I'm becoming more and more concerned with chemicals and processing these days.

Okay, off my organic soap box and off to munch on a Birkenstock.

Happy Mardi Gras.

Where I've Been

To tell you the truth, I think I somehow got on the wrong list.

When I first received the invitation back in October for the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration I didn’t even know what “Social Media Mom” meant exactly. I figured maybe because I’ve given birth a few times and successfully uploaded an avatar to Twitter I could fake my way in and pretend I belonged.

And I’m so glad it worked.

Because what we experienced this weekend was simply incredible.

We arrived on Wednesday late afternoon after I took a wrong turn at the Contemporary and got lost. Seriously, you’d think that I couldn’t miss the giant Epcot ball as a landmark, but I did and the GPS kept yelling, “You are such a moron I can’t even help you.”

So we were a bit late checking in to the Polynesian, but did make our first event on time: a trip to the newly refurbished Wide World of Sports.

The kids played basketball and football while I sat in my first presentation about all of the new things going on at Disney (more on that later) and then we regrouped at a party in the Josten’s Center which had delicious tailgate food and visits from Team Mickey. (Goofy is a dog, btw. Stevie asked.)



And why these pictures are particularly awful? See Figure 1--you are late and a moron who left her camera in the car.

The next morning had me up early and over to Epcot to eat (a tasty recurring theme over the three days) breakfast and hear Guy Kawasaki speak. Amazing. He told me all of the things I’m doing wrong on Twitter but he was funny about it so I can’t even be mad.

Afterward, we walked over to the press event that Ty Pennington just happened to host honoring some of the families who have participated in Disney’s Give A Day, Get a Disney Day initiative. His big reveal was the largest canned food structure which was later dismantled and sent off to food banks in Florida and Georgia. They estimate it will be about 70,000 meals.

We got to play around the park for the rest of the afternoon. The big boys headed to Hollywood Studios and the little ones and I strolled in the frigid temps at Epcot. It was kind of nice doing the countries at a leisurely pace without, well, doing the countries at all and not Test Track all day.

But it was that evening we were in store for a special treat. Little did we know that as we were strolling through the Japanese Pavilion buying Pokemon and Hello Kitty, Robert Irvine from the Food Network’s Dinner: Impossible was also running around Epcot collecting inspiration from Disney Princesses to put on our dinner for the evening.

Seriously.

The show will air in April.

Oh yes, and if that wasn’t entertainment enough, we then got a private concert from Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato.

Yes, the awesomeness of this cannot quite be captured here.

Friday was supposed to be our “work” day. There were speakers lined up in between our catered meals including Chris Brogan, Maxine Clark (Build-A-Bear CEO) and Kathy Ireland. I think this was the media part, and I was not being too social of a mom stuffing my face with salami and cocktails. There were dozens of giveaways including a night in Cinderella’s Castle.

I didn’t win that. If I had, you would have heard me screaming from a turret.

But that was okay, because the party that night was at Hollywood Studios after it closed and we got to ride Toy Story Mania over and over until we got carpal tunnel syndrome finding all of the hidden scoring opportunities.

Saturday was departure day which meant my brood and I wore the letters off of our Media Fast Pass which took us to the front of every line. And while my boys haven’t read a single word of anything I’ve ever written, this single gift may just have made me cool for a minute in their eyes.

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of Disney. I just appreciate the amount of effort they put into everything they do to maximize the guest experience no matter if it’s a trip to their stores or a week long family vacation in the most luxurious resort. They are the best at what they do, and every single time I think I’ve seen all of the tricks in their magic bag, they exceed my expectations. Every. Single. Time.

This weekend was pretty spectacular. Although I didn’t get to meet a whole lot of new folks, I did meet a few and reconnected with some old friends. I learned a lot and got to talk shop--a shop I didn’t even know I had--with some pretty gifted women.

And best of all I got to share this entire experience with my family.

And that is the most magical part of all.

(P.S. Full disclosure--although this trip was worth far more than I paid, I did pay actual cash money for this conference and was sponsored by no one.)

I need to get gouslashes and a bikini

As God as my witness, I will find something to wear today.

I'm saying that out to generate success. With only a few days to go until our Disney Conference and every single activity possible planned in between, I have exactly 90 minutes today in which to find suitable clothing and supplies for a family of six in that mixed bag of weather possibilities known as Orlando in February. Could be eighty and sunny, could be forty and raining.

Pack accordingly.

Happy Groundhog Day and New Year!

Although my piece about Groundhog Day went up live on Whoa Momma today, I am celebrating New Year's all over again.

I don't know about you, but I'd pretty much like to forget all about January and start 2010 again, this time with a little more joy, a lot less chaos and a whole lot more writing.

Whose with me?

One should not have more websites than fingers in which to type on them

So in an effort to become more prolific and consolidate my spatterings around the Interwebs (not to mention my sanity) I'm considering giving SuburbanDiva.com a makeover and moving this blog over there.

I can't really think of a downside--I'm pretty sure smarter people than I have figured out how to redirect traffic if people are used to clicking here then they would automatically be moved there. And if I spruce up the old digs, well, it might just have enough room to fit all of my nonsense.

Which is a lot.

Anyway, thoughts? It might make me a more focused nonsense producer.

Only 9 days until February. THANK GOD.

When I woke up this morning, it felt like the typical crappy Friday most of the days in this hellish January have felt like. I fell asleep during the news last night, so I woke up to it after hitting the snooze button fourteen times which only made me later to find clothes, pack lunches and get everyone off with bribes and outright lies that I'd hope they'd forget abut by 3:00.

Honestly, this January has not been my favorite. Besides this really awful writer's block that's starting to really get in the way of an otherwise brilliant career, this month have been filled with challenges. Really shitty ones that I'd rather not face, but no one asked me. And while I'd love to share all of those messy details with all of cyberspace, unfortunately I'm not the sole owner of that information so I really can't share it because I don't own it. So you'll have to trust me when I say it just plain sucks.

Until today.

While there was no Grand Event that deserved capital letters, there was a lightening somewhere. Nothing specific--no obvious solution to anything, but a definite shift. I can't name the exact moment it happened, but as I lay down tonight to shortly fall asleep once again with the TV on, my heart is a just a little lighter, my mind a little more at ease.

And maybe, just maybe, tomorrow when I wake, it will be lighter still.

Another help outlet for Haiti

Save 10% on your order at AllAboutMeCompany.com!

I know everyone is doing what they can for relief efforts in Haiti. You've texted the Red Cross, you've given to local church and school efforts and in dozens of other personal ways. But if you are going to shop for Valentine's Day or any other occasion anyway, then I just wanted to alert you to a local company who is also pledging funds toward relief efforts:

All About Me Company
will donate 5%of our sales to the
American Red Cross
from January 19, 2010 to February 19, 2010 to help with the
Haiti relief & restoration.

No coupon necessary

Every little bit helps.

Guess where I'm going in February?

Since I’m having so much trouble writing about the present, I will about the future.

Almost two years ago, I attended my first (and only) blogging event. It wasn’t so much of a conference as the trip to Disney World was by invitation, only had fifteen attendees and all expenses were paid.

I wrote about the amazing three days soon after the weekend concluded, but the powerful experience has remained with me since.

Little did I know it then, but those fourteen other women turned out to be a pretty smart, gifted, and talented crew that the blogosphere is blessed to have. They are business women. They are writers. They are wives and mothers. They counsel and entertain. They are friends. But most of all they are a voice. A powerful voice that I am better off hearing. Often.

I’ve kept up with most of them over these years, whether texting my friend Kris, working on some amazing projects with Cooper or even having my blog redesigned by Jo-Lynne. I read their blogs and follow their growing families-- Steph and Ivy, Amy and Teagan Rose, Gabrielle and her soon to be born. I love reading wisdom from Jennifer James and Christine Koh. I have also enjoyed a wonderful relationship with Disney ever since.

The upcoming conference will be different, but also exciting. There will be some powerful speakers--Chris Brogan and Guy Kawaski--among others, and the 130 attendees also will be bringing their families to attend the three day event. Oh yeah, and this was not an all expenses paid trip although we are getting a heck of a deal.

The blogosphere looks different now as well, and in my mind I’m turning around the whole community vs. business aspect of “Mommyblogging.”

What will remain the same is the undeniable Disney magic and meeting some amazing women. Both old friends and new ones.

And learning.



P.S.-- More of those old Disney friends that I wish were going:

Mary Beth
Elizabeth
Jennifer
Amy
Erin (who may indeed be going!)

Big Day

So I just woke up from a dream about a big purple fat man sitting in my bath tub that no one could see except me.

I think I can trace that back to Avatar winning Best Picture at the Golden Globes.

Whatevs.

It's our anniversary today in addition to Martin Luther King, Jr. Day which means laundry, no mail service and a sincere moment of gratitude for an amazing eighteen years.

Oh yes, and how to make the traditional gift of porcelain sexy.

This is what we do when everyone is at school

This is how we roll when no one is looking: leftover spaghetti lunches on our faces and buckets on our heads.



And despite how it looks, the spaghetti lunch was not in the bucket.

Although it probably is now.

(And her name is the the bucket in permanent magic marker to distinguish her from the other messy toddlers with affinities to beaches. I guess.)

At least we're eating well

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am pretty sure that 2010 is out to kill me, and here we are twelve days in and the death order is still out on my head.

Thanks, New Year. You are kind of a douchebag.

But when I find that the calendar has turned homicidal maniac, I turn to the stove. I wish I turned to writing prolific prose or even a mediocre blog once in a while, but the stove is my Kevlar.

I've been cooking. A lot. Mostly soups and stews and anything that I can fit into my new Le Crueset lime green dutch oven and things that fall into the luscious category, "Comfort Food."

And that's pretty much it.

It's boring, but tasty around here while the dogs get called off.

2010 is trying to kill me

Sshhh...I think 2010 is trying to kill me.

No seriously. Don't tell Mr. Fancypants new decade that I'm on to him, but I am.

The first week of this new year he's already tried to murder me in various ways. I think I suffered from brain trauma by slapping myself in the forehead so many times. When that failed, it tried to make my head explode. Next came exhaustion and finally it's resorted to freezing me to death.

All this after I rang it in so joyously. I watched Dick Clark for it, for goodness sake and anyone else who did knows just how painful that was.

So seriously twenty ten or whatever name you prefer--back off a bit.

The authorities are much less likely to pin it on you if you take your time and aren't so obvious.

Jeesh.

So long, 2009

We are off for a few days to ring in 2010 in style. I have a feeling 2010 is going to be particularly awesome--I think I do better in even years, and wll, this one already has lots of pretty amazing things planned.

So here's my not-so fond farewell to 2009.


While the past year was pleasant in many ways, there are a few things that 2009 can keep. My Top Nine Things That Can Stay in 2009 are:

1. New Year’s Resolutions. This is 2010, ya’ll. If the ancient Mayans and John Cusack are to be believed, we’ve only got two years until Armageddon. I suggest we all abandon the resolutions and prepare bucket lists instead.

2. Open microphones at award shows. This was a great list Sub Diva, and I’m going to let you finish, but People had the best Top list of all time!

3. Books about vampires. I love a good teenaged love story with the undead as much as the next gal, but how about we mix it up this year with some sea creature romances?

4. Pirates. Seriously, I said 2009, not 1709. And they’re not even vampires.

5. Guest lists at State Dinners. It’s harder to sneak into an R-rated movie than it is for breakfast in bed in the Lincoln bedroom.

6. Lax golf club laws. Poor Tiger.

7. TLC, a.k.a “The Learning Channel.” Let’s get real, folks. This is the network that gave us Jon minus Kate and What Not To Wear. Unless you’re majoring in family dysfunction and remedial fashion through public humiliation, you ain’t learnin’ nothin’ on The Learning Channel.

8. H1N1. But I don’t mind the built-in excuse as to why I can’t shake hands with a creepy dude at a cocktail party or refraining from dipping my hand into the bowl of Doritos that’s been passed around the room.

9. Top nine lists. In 2010 it’ll just look lazy.

Happy New Year everyone, and welcome 2010.

©2009 (for the last time!) Tracey Henry

Cross-posted at Suburbandiva.com

Christmas Recap

Christmas was what it should be--loud, excessive, messy and totally magical.

We picked up my Dad and Mary Anne from the airport on Wednesday and headed to the Lightning game which is always fun and a good excuse not to cook.

We got an early present on Christmas Eve morning when Santa dropped a load of snow on our front lawn. (I guess Santa was at said hockey game as well and may or may have not had some Zamboni remnants in his sleigh runners.)



The kids played in that for about 4 minutes until it melted in the Florida sunshine and then we headed over to Attention Home to deliver their gifts and got ready for church and partying. I enslaved my father into wrapping an obscene amount of presents and Matty tracked Santa on Norad all night and actually fell asleep before 11:00 because Florida was Santa's first American stop.

Christmas morning began early and lasted late, and we watched Christmas movies, ate too much, soaked in the hot tub and put together 811 toys. Perfect.

We spent the rest of the weekend perfecting the art of chillaxing which might have been the best present of all and a nice way to end 2009.

2010 should be so perfect.

One last thought this Christmas Eve...

The Norad Santa tracker is pretty much the greatest thing ever invented.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

My To Do List:

1.) Wrap eleventy five hundred gifts.

2.) Enjoy the holiday.

Both of which I intend to over the next few days.

The kids are bouncing off of the walls--in that good Christmas-y way, and you just can't help but want to put on an ugly Christmas sweater and join them. It's about to get really messy, noisy and happy around here, and I can't wait.

Enjoy yours!

Our family's secret recipe: German Twists

I wouldn’t have believed this unless site meter told me it was so, but many people stumble upon my blog/site from the search words, “German Twist Cookies.” Until this digital confirmation, I would have thought my immediate family was the only humans on earth familiar with this delicacy since I’ve never seen them anywhere except my family Christmases.

If you’re not familiar with them, I wrote about the process of epic baking them here a couple of years ago, but I never wrote out the recipe. Something I intend to correct today.

Great Grandma’s (Rick’s?) German Twists

1 package of yeast dissolved in ¼ cup of warm water with a teaspoon of sugar

At least 3 ½ cups of flour (You’ll need closer to 5)

1 tsp. salt

1 cup of Crisco (seriously)

1 cup sour cream (full fat version, it’s Christmas)

3 eggs-- 1 whole, 2 yolks


1 cup brown sugar, 1 cup white sugar, 1 tablespoon cinnamon
(Actually, I have no idea if these are the measurements, you have to just eyeball it, and I don’t think you can screw it up)


Clear your calendar for the day. Take a deep breath and begin.

Mix the flour, salt and Crisco in the mixer on low until it is dry and crumbly. Add the sour cream, eggs--one at a time until blended. Stir in yeast mixture gently to combine.

You will notice at this point that the dough is more bread-y than cookie-y. That’s what you want. If it seems too wet, add a little more flour, but it should be moist, not dry.

Place the whole bowl into a warm (heated but off) oven with a pastry cloth tucking it in. Sing the dough a lullaby. Let it rise and breathe in the oven for two hours.

After it has doubled in size, knead it gently and return it to the oven to rise another hour. Wonder why you didn’t just make Snickerdoodles.

Now comes the fun part. And by “fun” I mean “not really.” Divide the dough in half. Take your working half and roll it out on long sheets of plastic wrap lining your work surface. (You need a lot of room for this.) Roll it out into a long rectangle. The bigger the better. Sprinkle half of the rolled out dough with the sugar mixture--then using the plastic wrap to help you, fold the dough over onto itself. Roll out again, repeat the sprinkle on the opposite side, 3 more times until you finally get a long log-like thing of dough-y goodness.



If you have made it this far, congratulate yourself with a glass of wine or seven. I think a nice Malbec goes nicely with Crisco.

Okay, cut the log into ¾-1 inch strips. Give the middle a little twist as you place onto your Silpat-lined cookie sheets. Or if you recently burned your Silpat in a freak broiler accident--just use parchment paper. Trust me--these things become molten cinnamon sugar lava when hot--you need something to help get them off.

Bake in a 350 oven for 15-17 minutes. Watch them--they suck if you burn them. And don’t forget you’ve got the other half of your dough in the oven before you bake that in the bowl. That that I’ve done that before or anything. I’ve just heard...

Let them cool on the cookie sheet for a minute before transferring them to cooling racks, because you should use as many dishes as possible for this recipe.

Realize you now have to repeat the process with that other half of the dough and alternately weep and rejoice.

With any stroke of luck, they should look like this:



This recipe makes between 3 and 5 dozen depending on your rolling pin skillz, but feeds the soul of all who taste it.

Women are from Venus, Men are from Tom Tom

Sean: You need to pick me up at the car dealer later after I drop off my car to be repaired.

Me: Okay, where is it?

Sean: On 60 on the north side of the street.

Me: Clueless stare.

Sean: Sigh. On the right.

Me: Still clueless blank stare.

Sean: On the side of the hand you write with.

Me: Making typing motions and shrugging my shoulders.

Sean: Huge sigh. I can't believe I let you educate our children. The opposite hand of your left-sided freckle.

Me: My biological left designator that faithfully got me through elementary school and Driver's Ed has now faded with age.

Sean: Seriously, you need help. The opposite side of the hand you wear your wedding ring on.

Me: Processing those long logistics. Oh, okay. I know right where it is!

After almost 18 years, it's the little signs of romance.

My favorite part of Christmas--FOOD!

Let's talk food, shall we? Specifically holiday menus.

Our Christmas Day dinner is traditionally Prime Rib with Yorkshire Pudding. A classic. If you've never had Yorkshire pudding, I so recommend you try it. It's really simple, I swear, and you will be rewarded handsomely with beef flavored eggy pillows of goodness that melt in your mouth. The trick is just to get the pan and juices from the meat really hot--so take the meat out of the pan when it's done and let it rest before slicing, crank up the oven and put the drippings back in while you prepare the batter and you'll have guaranteed success. You can uses individual things like they did here, or just the pan you used for the beef.

Here's a recipe from Epicurious.com, and it's sort of close to the one I use. I don't do those vegetables, but they look good. I make a homemade horseradish sauce and just season the prime rib with Kosher salt and pepper, and you're good to go.

I might have to add another special dish during the celebration week that I just discovered at this week's Sunday dinner. I have never made (or heard of) a New York Strip roast before, but let me tell you--delish! Just sprinkle the outside with salt and pepper, let it stand at room temp for an hour. Sear it in hot oil on each side and then stick it in the oven for about 50 minutes for medium rare (for a 4-lb roast). I made a pan sauce with a Madeira reduction, but you could use any sauce you'd like--my mouth just watered at the thought of Bearnaise...

I'm off to find a good egg bake recipe for Christmas morning. Sean teases me about it, but I know he would secretly miss it if it wasn't there next to the extra batteries under the tree.

I've got you, Hell Week

So I'm pretty sure this last week before school lets out and Christmas begins thinks it can take me down.

It's shaking its Monday at me screeching about Laundry and shopping. Tuesday's already wagging a finger with warnings of shopping, wrapping, baking, writing,and shipping. Wednesday's got its eye on Christmas cards and I think Thursday won't let me leave without doing something about that Santa Claus-esque gray streak I've got going on.

Well, let me just tell you Week of December 14th. I've seen bigger and badder seven day stretches than you, and I will not be defeated until the last snicker is doodled and nuesse is pfeffered. Got it? Good.

Because these are the reasons I kill myself every year.


Because Stevie still asks for "surprises" for Christmas.

Because Matty just will call out from out of the blue, "I love this time of year."

Because Amy sings Christmas carols with her arms thrown up above her head.

And because Jesso has no idea what's going to happen in less than two weeks.
Now go back to playing Christmas specials and last-gift sales. I've got work to do.

Rudolph the spin-off

We're watching the classic Christmas specials tonight on ABC Family. I love this crazy night of 1960's claymation/stuffed carnival animal yule fun--who doesn't sing "I'm Mr. Heat Miser" as their lullaby all of December?

But there is one program that just doesn't put the jingle in my jangle--"Rudolph's Shiny New Year."

If you haven't seen it, basically it's a special that some crack addict hopped up on snickerdoodles and cheap Asti Spumante came up with to fill the dead programming slots for the week of December 26-31. Rudolph is asked to save the Baby New Year from a vulture who will turn into a glacier if Time--played by Red Skelton--is allowed to continue. Rudolph gets help along the way by those traditional New Year's characters we all know and love: Big Ben the whale, a caveman, a knight with a Rip Van Winkle beard, the Three Bears and Ben Franklin. Pure Auld Land Syne gold here. I don't know whether I want Rudolph to win and save time or hope that the ice vulture triumphs so I can have that hour of my life back.

Go, Eon, go.

Dude, I can't win

In the I-can’t-win-no-matter-how-hard-I-try-yet-I-still-do-every-damn-day-anyway (a.k.a “Figures”) category, it seems there’s a consumer group--a really late and completely calendar-oblivious consumer group--that has determined that Zhu Zhu Pets--the hottest toy of 2009--may be unsafe, as my friend, Sharon reports.

The government is investigating the claim, but it seems these guys think the Zhu emits too much antimony, which among its many cited dangers includes the perilous description: "Antimony is toxic and immediately dangerous to life or health at 50 mg m-3 or above. (6) Exposure to 9 milligrams per cubic meter of air (mg/m3) of antimony as stibnite for a long time can irritate your eyes, skin, and lungs. Breathing 2 mg/m3 of antimony for a long time can cause problems with the lungs (pneumoconiosis) heart problems (altered electrocardiograms), stomach pain, diarrhoea, vomiting and stomach ulcers. People who drank over 19 ppm of antimony once, vomited."

I think one of those footnotes refers to other pleasant side effects like optic warts and small pox.

Or it could note that Mattel was the sponsor of the study.

I wonder if the New York Times will be calling for my reaction on spending a king’s ransom on arsenic-laden fake hamsters.

At least I’m on record as saying we got the yellow one.

Random Updates

Collectiong my thoughts around the Interweb this morning...

My Hallmark giveaway is up at Whoa Momma.

My letter to Santa on Suburban Diva.com

And a great local event to attend on Saturday--Snowfest!

Whew. It's been a busy morning....

O Christmas Tree?

Usually when we pick out our Christmas tree, it pretty much follows the same pattern. Sean picks out one way too big, I pick out one way too small, and we repeat this game of extremes through six tree lot tents until the kids feel like impaling themselves on a pine bough just to go home.

Not this year.

Today, as I was looking at the juniper bush size trees checking needle pressure and trunk straightness, Sean and the kids all went for the single largest tree in the tent. It was a mammoth tree--so ridiculously large that Rockefeller Center probably rejected it because it was just too big. Stevie stood next to it and could only reach the bottom tier of branches. I thought I can hear the Swiss Family Robinson yodeling somewhere near the top.

It was pricey too, this here tree. Double what I thought was expensive. But instead of traveling 4.6 miles to the next identical tent with the identical over-priced over-sized trees, we just did it. Bought the biggest, baddest, most crooked, expensive tree in the county and put it in our living room. And bedroom and kitchen, but sometimes you just need a little a whole heaping lot of Christmas right this very minute.



Even though we don't have even a fraction of ornaments or lights to decorate this Yule Log hopped up on Miracle Gro, the house whole--as well as the whole block--smells of pine and the unexpected.

And Santa can not only leave a whole lot of presents, he can park his sleigh underneath, string up a hammock from the lowest boughs and take a siesta on Christmas night.

Did you watch Top Chef last night?

One of the three shows that I try to make a point of watching every week is Top Chef. I can't help it--I think it's absolute genius to watch a show that the contestants are judged by how things taste, and yet the audience never actually tastes it. But yet week after week, I believe Tom Colicchio when he says the foie gras is too salty. Pure damn genius.

So as a crazy lunatic Top Chef fan, I'm not sure if this absolutely hysterical recap of last night's episode will be as meaningful if you don't actually watch it, but if you don't at least emit a chuckle over the summary of the commercial break, then you have no soul.

A commercial break: Erica, the grand pooba of pasta (Handy!), chancellor of cheese (Fresh!), connoisseur of cold (Chilly!) stuck in eternal repetition of infernal domesticity, the unwanted and illegitimate daughter of Julia Child and Sisyphus since September 2007. The choreography of her misery augmented by the words and sounds that float and freeze across her sound and vision. One voice, a man's; the chorus belonging to women who one imagines wear black velvet dresses; the guitar a twobit Shaft riff from a complacent studio musician named Walter. "Am I insane?" she thinks, panicked behind a Westport smile. "No," she relaxes. "For at least the words the women are saying are the same words that appear on the screen. At least I can hold on to that." Her capillaries relax. But as she holds up her hot dog made from the undifferentiated corpses of a small shtetl of holsteins, (Viceroy of Value!), she sees the word "Tasty" next to her Piggly Wiggly face but hears the word "Yummy!"

The eggshell cracks but perhaps it was just a momentary blip in the world largely seamlessly. She seals her wiener in a Glad bag, still clinging like a rat to rubbish to her happiness. "Thrifty!" the steel gray of the word threatens to bang into her temple. "Alright," she says, "if I hear Wilson Phillips say 'Thrifty' I'm sane and it's all okay. I'm not a sad clown. I'm a woman, a mother. My husband isn't cheating on me. He'll find a job soon." But then the voices come. "Economical!" it says with malign glee. Erica, the grand pooba of pasta, chancellor of cheese, connoisseur of cold, collapses like a soufflé onto her linoleum floor. Her apron bunches, her legs splayed. She's crying and her tears pool on the clear plastic coffins of food unwanted. Happily, her hot dog stays dry. A moment's reprieve is all Erica's misery earns her and then the music starts again. She rises up, compelled by a tourbillon of the wretched, and reties her apron. "Erica!" the voices say and Glad is misery.

Read the whole article here on Gawker.com.

Why our December electric bill is $4,083.52

Today was decorating day.



We went with the more festive lighting options this year.

Home

Perhaps since we dined on a delicious steak on Thanksgiving rather than the Tryptophan-laced turkey, I got a boost of domestic energy today.

We returned home from Atlanta late last night, and while the boys were off at a hockey tournament at a very unlady-like time of morning, I unpacked, did all of the laundry, cleaned out closets and dressers to fill a dozen bags of clothes to Goodwill, grocery shopped, did miscellaneous computer tasks, went through all of the catalogs and made a very nice white bean turkey chili with fresh cilantro.

I am recording this not to brag or to bore you, but to prove to myself later that I did something of substance this week.

Turkey Day Tips

I've written an entire list of step-by-step instructions on Thanksgiving preparations here, but here are a few more:

1.) Save your money on the white truffle butter. Matty claims it was the best turkey he's ever eaten, but I still think it was funky and not in a good, wholesome Thanksgiving sort of way. More like I want to eat Funyons and Mountain Dew after noshing on a turkey leg slathered in peyote buttons.

2.) Deep-fry your cranberry sauce. But eat it hot, right away and sprinkle powdered sugar on it like you were at the county fair instead of a formal dinner. Delish.

3.) Pick the exact opposite of my football picks.

4.) Not really a tip, more of a general question: If your kid gets sick on Thanksgiving, can it be considered swine, or are we back to the bird flu? Or maybe Stevie just is allergic to peyote.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

At $1.83 per ounce, it should smell better

The other bonus about Fake Thanksgiving today?

When you screw up the turkey by getting all Ina Garten on it and spreading white truffle butter all over it which has your kitchen smelling like effing Sherwood Forest in the rain, your guests get to have the real thing on Thursday and you didn't ruin real Thanksgiving.

Not what I thought I'd be quoted in the New York Times for, but I'll take it

Before I started talking about Fake Thanksgiving, I spoke about Fake Hamsters.

And today, I spoke about fake hamsters to the very real New York Times.

Fake Thanksgiving

Because our plans on actual Thanksgiving Day don't include my kitchen, we're having Fake Thanksgiving here on Sunday.

Fake Thanksgiving is very similar to the real one except I am armed with 3 extra shopping days and a week's worth of Food Network specials. Yesterday I got the prime jumbo turkey because they weren't all picked over, and we can watch other football games besides the Lions and Cowboys.

Keeping with non-Thanksgiving theme, we got an early Christmas/late hurricane present. Because we didn't use our hurricane days this fall (yay el nino!) we get an extra day off from school and don't have to go back until Decemberfreakingfirst, ya'll. You can best believe I'm pretty thankful for that.

And speaking of stepping away from the Food Network, Sean does not think that Paula Deen's Deep-Fried Cranberry Sauce Fritters sound like a little piece of breaded heaven. I think he's crazy and needs to be committed.

But then again he may have had a different opinion if he actually saw her make them with Kermit the Frog.

Mayberry, Cuba and CSI

So not all went as planned this weekend. We kicked it off with a little crime here, and while nothing (much) of value was taken, it really rattled me and I'm a little paranoid and skittish as a result.

The police took all of my information, including fingerprinting my car, which I have to tell you, makes me feel somewhat like a suburban bad ass. The neighbors all passed by as CSI: Mayberry was in the driveway collecting evidence, and I bet they're all wondering just what type of drama was unfolding. I'm purposely keeping the black fingerprint dust as a deterrent to future douchebaggery.

But that did not stop us from attending our fall benefit last night,and here is the primer for the event in case you missed it.

This is what pre-revolutionary, post-Fidel, and current-acting Raul, Cuba looks like from Mayberry:



Note the black dress, again. They must have stolen Technicolor from my closet, too.

Friday the 13th sucks

I hate it when a day lives up to its cliche.

Things I did and did not do this week

Things I did this week:

1.) I wrote my fool fingers off on both assigned work and le book.

2.) I found a dress to wear to the benefit on Saturday.

3.) I fit into a smaller size than I orignally thought for Saturday.

4.) Finally took care of that Bride of Franenstein thing I had going on in my hair.

5.) Found a missing thumb drive.


Things I did not do this week:

1.) Get as far as I thought on the rewrites because it's like a house of cards when you change something, you then have to re-write 20,000 more words to make the two in the middle make sense.

2.) Drink soda.

3.) Grieve when the temperature dipped below 90 for the first time since last November.

4.) Get the peanut butter out of the earpiece of my phone.

5.) Hear anything anyone said when they called me.


Not a bad way to spend a week.

This worked so well for reptiles...

You crazies, you got me all distracted with iguanas and property law and I totally missed that I had a whole host of other assignments due (ones that actually pay) and so I have to extend my research/interview requests to include:

1.) Suggestions for giving books as gifts this holiday season. Kids, adults, fiction or non--anything that really sticks out for you this year?

2.) Somethng hilarious Christmas column.

You can just write, proofread and submit that last one to my stocking.

Thanks.

(But leave a comment on the first one...)

It's called "research"

Because I'm too lazy to use the Google, here's the novel research question of the day: Do iguanas have long tongues that eat flies?

These are the literary questions that consume me lately. I am proud to say that despite having a double ear infection, peanut butter in the ear-piece of my new iPhone (not related. I think.), and a whole bunch of other distractions, I have, in fact, a beginning, middle and end to the novel.

*waits for applause to subside*

Now begins the task of going back through and filling all of the holes I made and generally tightening prose and bolstering word counts. And research.

In other words, all of the fun stuff.

Interview Requests

No, I'm serious.

I need two reasonably-educated people (or one super smart one) to help me out in a couple of scenes in my book. I don't need binding legal opinion, but I just need to know what the fictional legal ramifications would be for two of my characters. So if any lawyer-type has a few minutes to kill, I'd be appreciative.

The other quasi-expert I need is someone familiar with Roberts Rules and parlimentary procedure in general. If this fits your description, then you could use some fun and read two scenes in my novel.

Help a sister out, please. Divamail@Suburbandiva.com and I'll mention you in the dedication.

Happy Birthday, Stevie

My little boy turned 14 today, and in addition to making us all old, it also means I've had the best fourteen years of my life, and we are so very blessed. So very blessed.

No really, I'm serious this time. Really.

Perhaps you are already familiar with NaNoWriMo, which translates to National Novel Writing Month to writers around the literary world. November is traditionally the month someone determined was a good one in which to challenge people to write a novel in 30 days.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Here in Safety Harbor, Novemeber is hereby designated as GYFNFA--which simply means, "Get your freaking novel finished already."

GYFNFA has already passed by several times here this year--you'll recall June, August and most recently October as celebratory months. But now, I'm serious. December 1 will mark 2 years of this particular project, and if I don't finish it now, it will never, ever, ever happen.

I really don't have that much more to go, and now that Trunk n' Treat, Halloween, a few birthdays, baseball season and all of my excuses are over, I should be quite prolific for the next 30 days.

Look for my furious typing fingers and furrowed brow this month.

Saying good-bye to October:



Amy doesn't like the spooky music coming from across the street.



Before the sugar coma.




It's already 400 degrees, the fire just ensures that all of the Fun Size Snickers melt.

Just made the Jell-o for the oozing brains exhibit, should have saved some for shots

In a few hours, I will be knee deep in All Hallows Eve Eve. Which for this gal, means our annual Trunk n' Treat event at school.

If you look back over the years, you'll see that I love this event, I really do. You will also see that I have skated any responsibility for this party which is probably why I like it so much.

That changes this year. They put me in charge of the whole thing because they are crazy. Or they don't read my blog to know that I am crazy. And unorganized and not fit for planning anything except how I can skirt more planning. It's pretty much a survival skill.

So tomorrow will be interesting. It will either be fine (because really, there isn't a whole lot of stuff you can do beforehand for this) or I will have screwed it up so horribly that they will lock me into a trunk and push me over a cliff.

But if I don't die in a flaming "accident" (Please forward this to law enforcement officials upon my untimely demise) I can always rely on my pumpkin-carving skills when we have to go on the lamb.

As long as that lamb is in Sleepy Hollow or something.

(Dang, don't forward that clue to my soon-to-be assassins.)

Princess Tiana: I met her!

Following a colorful procession in a horse-drawn carriage befitting royalty, the newest Disney princess made her debut at the Magic Kingdom on Monday.



Princess Tiana from the upcoming Disney film, The Princess and the Frog, made her way from the Louisiana Bayou to Cinderella’s castle as Mickey and the gang welcomed her into the fold.



The first Disney princess since Mulan in 1998, Princess Tiana is breaking new ground in the old classic fairy tale. The first African American princess, she is also the first to be set in modern times. The Princess and the Frog, which opens nationwide on December 11, 2009, also returns to the classic hand-drawn animation that audiences have adored for generations. The story is a comical “modern twist on a classic tale” set in the mystical bayous of Louisiana and features music by Oscar-winning composer Randy Newman.

Visitors to the Magic Kingdom can get a glimpse--and ear-- of the high-energy music in the attraction “Tiana’s Showboat Jubilee” which will run three shows daily until January 3, 2010. The nine minute show plays on the Liberty Belle Riverboat and features the movie characters as well as randomly-chosen park guests in the cleverly choreographed production that resembles a Mardi Gras parade on water. Fast-paced without the need for a Fast Pass, you can watch from the docks of Frontierland.

In addition to seeing a lot of Tiana on store shelves this holiday season, little ones can take a look in their magic mirrors after a trip to Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique for a glittery view. Prices for the girl glam packages start at $49.95 and Tiana’s fresh look is among the royal styles available.

And if you can’t make it to her house at the Magic Kingdom, chances are you’ll be seeing a lot of the new princess knocking at your door this Halloween or on your kids’ wish lists this year--already her soft green and cream petal dress and plush doll are big sellers.

But it is in theaters where kids are sure to fall in love with the beautiful Tiana. The impressive team that has contributed to this movie since the project began in 2006 assures success.

You can see scenes of the film here and if you enter a theme park between now and November 22, 2009, you can get details on how to receive a voucher for a free child’s movie ticket.

(Cross-posted at Whoa Momma! )