A story problem

Question: If there are three confirmed swine flu cases at your elementary school and you have three kids enrolled in grades K-8 and at least two are running fevers at 100.1 or above, what is the total number of minutes your family will be in school next week?

Answer: 2.3 minutes. (But I will accept the 12 minutes of whining in carline before we turn around and come home tomorrow morning.)

Extra credit: How much money will I spend on Kleenex, hand sanitizer and doctor's office copays over the next 3 days?

(Hint: anything under $17,000 is wrong.)